Obstacles

Dear,
in a way this is a kind of “farewell” letter. The events this past month has now convinced me that it is of no use to discuss this topic, or to try to get trou the vail. The resistence is to great.

So many things that happened it is impossible that it is coincidents. I know you and others say that Rigpa/Absolute has no whises or anything, yet there is something controlling what happens to me. This time it is clear that even you have been tampered with. You know me so well and yet wrote as you did. In the last email you changed the illusion part to “You are trying to grasp Rigpa intellectualy.” Something like that. Completly forgotten all I have said about the second id, visions, obe:s, the spot in the heart, energy. That half of me is already there. Either you never believed me or you were blinded so you did not see. It´s my heart that tries to understand, intellect is a varifying factor. This time even the internet was manipulated. Missing mails, adresses that failed. Everything worked against it. You complained about me being angry, rightfully, but I was never heard until I screamed, was angry or had the crying attacks. But that does not matter anymore.

There are so many obstacles I don´t know how to ever get passed it. The more I try the harder the obstacles. “The tall man seem to tighten that rob that it covered up my cleaned aura with”. (from that meditation/vision) I am not wanted. If it is not Rigpa that does it, it is something on the astrals. Something does not want me there, but does not leave me either. Last night I had to take one of those pills to be able to sleep. That is not a good sign.

Now, I decided not to discuss this matter any more. It is of no use. Neither will I read anything more. Maybe that is what was indicated when I heard that “let her go”. As the blog came back I might write something now and then. To get things out of my system. But nothing else. I´ll have to find other things to do, to get back “to life”.