The labrat has to become a zombie

Today I biked around the lake. Stoped at the small waterfall to feel the soothing of water and air. But I can´t do that anymore. It took just a few minutes until I had to leave. That too is spoiled, now there is nothing or nowhere I can seek peace. For decades I could use the lakes and forest to comfort me. Not any more. Talk about it stealing EVERYTHING away from me. I have to become a zombie.

I wish my dad could die instead of living that pathetic life. When he is dead and everything finished …then I can go too. I wish…………………….I could sease to exist. Never to be found again. Never to be aware again! This is a living hell, when you can´t even find comfort in nature.

The labrat will starve to death, it cant´t eat because it has been electrified too many times. There is no way it can tuch the food.