Star on COT

110407 Hi  Gates

 I wouldn´t be so impressed about her being in the “Dark Night of the Soul”. To my knowledge it was self inflicted and she dragged a lot of others in there with her.

 She pretended to be that all loving person that, despite all suffering, loved everyone else. But her lesson to me and others was hate.

 She flooded the Forum with her poems too and sent it by mail to everybody without asking if you wanted it, and expected everyone to be grateful for it. The only person she loved was herself.

 For a period of time she had multiple users to the forum so she should not be blamed for what she was doing. Harrasing people, spewing poison around her. I know she was far down in the drugs, but you shouldn´t hurt others because of that. It was her own doing. But she let others suffer for it. But she was discovered after a while.

 But she was determined, and, probably, got there. I give her credit for that. And she was/is a good writer.

 But to see that she was the one that made it throuh, that hurts. While other beautiful people didn´t. People that left the Forum bleeding. Turning away from spirituality. I hope she is happy where she is so it was worth it. But with that knowledge I will never go there. It proves that spiritual growth has nothing to do with being kind and gentle. Everything you learned it should be. You can be as evil as hell and still get there if you are determined enough. She walked, literally, over corpses to get there.

 The longing in the heart never leaves, it is probably a function of being a human, but I will never act on it again. Just feel like I should write this down as you wrote me once on the blog.

 But she is still a good writer, this might be for real. Can a person change that much? And what about all those she wounded?

 http://collectionofthoughts.com/bbpress/

http://collectionofthoughts.com/bbpress/topic/1523

Heart chakra

Things has been a bit disturbing lately. The knot in my chest has grown. Twice lately, well the last month or so. I have visited COT.  Chip seems to be there occasionally and Star like always, still allknowing. Even Mike is back there.

 But that was not the reason for my writing. Yesterday I looekd up the chackras to see what was tehre. Found some info on wiki actually.

It is the heartchakra that bothers me. Wiki is good because it is info and not any religious blaha junk. The heartchakra is green and according to this site it is, of course, about feelings. They way “the wounded child” lives here.

That actually clearified something for me. What I always thought was the soul hiding in there is nothing else then the wounded me. So, now I can relax. I am not stopping any soul from evolving, giving me a bad conciounce. I just hide the wounded part of me.

 Great!  ;(

http://healing.about.com/cs/chakras/a/chakra4.htm