For Grimnexus

GrimNexus, going to the Collections I find your name on every thread.

Awakening is not for everyone. You have to select your “victims” carefully. To chose those who are ready and open.

You seem to think you can “talk” everyone into awakening, but that is not possible. Only a few persons are destined to reach it. You seem to think it is important to awaken everybody, but it isn´t. And you fail, like all awakened ones I have encountered, to explain why. Why is it important? Why shall I want it?

If I understand this whole thing, then awakening is not for helping people, it creates a window for the Universe to look through and feel through. But the human body involved has no advantage of it. No need for it.

The avearage person needs help with everyday business, They want a comforting hand to hold and a sholder to lean on when life is hard. That is where religions comes in. Awakening can´t provide that hope as religions gives. At least, I have not seen any hint that it does. The Universe is of no help when your child is badly hurt. A “god” or “angel” might be, even if it is only imaginary. The thought itself helps. The Absolute does not provide that comfort. The Absolute is only helpful when you have already reached it. And that is rare.

People have to evolve and grow from their present position, they don´t need to get the Ultimate hammered into their head. If not evolved enough, spiritually and biologically, they have no chance of understanding OR needing it. They might actually turn around if worked to hard on.

For me, I have come to a position of “standstill”. I think I know as much as I can know, and understand as much as I can understand, and still remain human. There might, still, be qualities about it that I don´t know about, spiritually and scientifically. But the trouble and pain has been too great. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me push forward. The only thing that can do it, is the Universe itself, and obviously, it does not think it is time yet.

For now I read a lot of Native folklore. I enjoy it, and becomes exited. It is beautiful. Gives purpose to their life, yet I know it is not for me. For me there is nothing more to do. For me there is no purpose nor is there any comforting “god” to lean on.

If you want to be a shepherd, learn about sheep!

The Blog

This blog was created as a way to justify all that pain I experienced. I thought that if I can help others the pain would have had a purpose. Up to now I know only one that seemed to have has some benefit from it.

So……..I have to conclude that I have no purpose, I am not even able to help others! Except for old parents of course, and daughters that need money. But that is everyday life.

So, writing the blog from now on is just my dairy. Nothing more.

Depressed

I am getting depressed. An unusual feeling. What has happened the past years has not been depression. I´ve been hurt and I have been angry, but not depressed.

Now I find myself slipping down that ugly road of depression. Don´t know if it is due to the weather. But I think it is a growing feeling of having no purpose. It is hard to find a meaning anymore. And not much interest me. Even if I do my best. A human needs a purpose, and I have none.

I hate to see this new forest drown in my tears. So far it has not happened though. To live only because the heart don´t stop…………….. how pointless.