Disconnected

For a month I have been working in a first grade school class. It was a wonderful thing in a way. You really feel the connection to some of the kids. You form a bond between you.

Before that I had my parents to care for. First both of them and the last year only my dad.

My daughter and grandkids lives in a different town so I don´t see them much.

Now I am in the situation that I have been longing for. Can do as I please, at least for the greater part.

I am not sure about all this caretaking. Creations of bonds between souls. Experiencing the fact that souls are not many but one. Belonging. And then it all just disappears.

The old and familiar thoughts of spiritual matters still knocks at the "door". And I still keep the door closed. The questions never answered. I can´t relax as it is pulling. I refuse to start all over again.

I am alone now, in a void. I will remain here.