2002-02-17

Out of the Maze

Dear S,
Something happened today that I just have to tell you about.

I had just started my workout to strengthen my back and neck. Then I had a vision. It lasted only for a brief moment. But I think it is very important. If this showed the thruth than I am so relieved.

“I found myself sitting on my heels. The world around me was just shades of white. There were nothing to see as it was empty. The ground became sky without any noticeable line or horizon. A naked tree stood to the right beside a path leading nowhere. I stood up and turned around. Behind my back I saw a wall or a house. It had no openings and no structures on it. I immediately knew what it was. It was the maze that had hold me prisonor for so many years. I turn around again and looked around hesitating about what to do. There seemed to be no reason to leave the place as there was no place to go. No path to take. So I just sat down again waiting for something to happen. “

I think I have told you about the maze. How I have had the feeling of being in one. Always trying to find a way out of it. And everytime I thought I succeded I found a new wall in front of me. Imprisoned again. And now, for the fist time ever. I was outside the maze. Is it not wonderful?? So maybe you were right, looks like something happens to me after all.

Last summer when I was so trubbled I was angry and feeling like an obstinat teenager. I said to myself, I will never do anything again to try to get out of this maze or to be enlightened. I will sit in a corner, doing nothing, till I rotten. And in a way, that’s what I have been doing ever since then. AND NOW I AM OUT.

I wonder what will happen next. Who will take my hand and show me around in this new world??

I have a question for you. Do you ever sense my feelings when you open my mails? I do sometimes get feelings when I read peoples letters. Especially the first time I read the letter I can sometimes sense strong feelings.


Well, tonight I feel good. I hope you do to.
Yours A

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