In the bubble & teachers

For a few days now I had this feeling of being in a bubble. I have been here before. It is when you do everything as in a dream. I started to clean out the appartment for the moving in three months time. Then i “clean” out this spiritual mess, trying to get some structure to it. Then reading one of my granddaughters “Magic” books. And no matter what I do I am only half aware. The rest is elsewere.

When I look back I realise this is a period that sometimes comes after those violent and disturbing “hits”. (Se Dark Night) It is like a resting and recovering period. But there are also surges of energy going on. Like whe you loose balance and almost fall. And of course the hands and feet. There is a sound in my head, like background noice.


Been thinking a bit of spiritual teachers. Was looking at the homepage of one yesterday. It has changed remarkebly since the last time I visited. Earlier there was a lot of interresting stuff on that site, now only schedules and a book for sale. OK, they have to live, but it is sad.

I also have been thinking of the troubles I have and how teachers react to it. They don´t! They talk about a harsh path to Enlightenment but then, in their teachings they mostly tries to describe what can´t be described. But as I see it, a good teacher has to recognise the pitfalls and difficulties on every step of the way. For six long years noone could tell me anything about the “hits” of what I now know is either “raw energy” or the "tuch of the Divine". When I asked it was ignored mostly, or not recognised. So much suffering because nobody was able to tell me. What good is teachers if they can´t explain what I go through and guide me through it.