Right or wrong?

Do you have to be “god” to be considered right?

I have been thinking about being ignored or considered wrong. Often treated like an unknowing teenager. Wonder why?

Sometimes I get the feeling that I am considered wrong ONLY because I didn´t write the old scriptures.

Was thinking about the converstion with grim about karma. It is wrong. I am NOT responsible for what was decided before the birth of this body. The identity of this body did not evolve until it was born. So……..I had nothing to do with that. As I see it, the spirit (a parasite to this body) tries to fulfil this undertaking of which I am unaware. Of course there is a conflict between the two. The spirit uses clues like “guiding”, dreams, visions to try to inflict certain behaviors in the ID of this body. And do so badly. It has to learn to give clues that is understandable to the ID of the body. As it is now…………I only get frustrated and angry because the spirit don´t leave me alone. And I don´t understand what it wants.

The two parts I always feels, are very real.

As for awakened people they seem to live with both ID and what they call Rigpa or Absolute. From the start they claim they reached the ultimate state. Never the less they keep evolving. Never seem to be done. The body ID still limits them. And that is very frustrating to me. I don´t want a halfway, halfdone sort of reality, when you never know where you are. To me there should be no “illusion” of ID. In my mind there should be Rigpa experience the creation, not creation experience Rigpa. If you go back and forth you are still the ID of the body. Or the remaining spirit. Don´t know. There should be no Aurora experience Rigpa, there shall be Rigpa using the ID Aurora to experience life. Aurora shall have no existence of her own. Rigpa playing that part of Aurora. There should be no Aurora to say “I” or “me”.

The title of this post is “rigth or wrong”, so I ask, am I wrong to think Rigpa should be everything? Only because I have not opened yet. Am I wrong? Or are people maybe afraid I might be right and they are not done? Why do they feel the need to confirm it in old scriptures? I see only one reason, they are not done. There are remaining ID:s that needs confirmation. Ego still wanting, feeling good about being so evolved.

When or if, it opens to me, I expect “me” to dissappear completely, leaving ONLY Rigpa, a constantly moving and changing entity. That knows it all. That IS all. Able to tap in anywhere it wants to.

Crying is back

It´s been a calm 11 months and I have been as close to happiness as I think I can be. But now the crying is back. Not a hit so far, but crying. Think that grims and chips new search together with the Rose´s paper initiated it.

I am now certain of shich question I need to have answered. But that seem to be out of range. I have two options. Which one shall I chose?

All demands that Rose comes with just makes me angry. But the anger is not about the pain in itself. If there were a good reason for it I would stand it. But there seem to be no good reason.

NOBODY, and so far Rose too, has been able to tell me WHY this is important. Yes they say you have to work hard, have to stand a lot of pain, work for years to avoid traps. Bu subtle and cunning to get to some place they can´t even describe. And that place is never changing. So, all this suffering, as I see it, is in vain.

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SUFFERING AND PAIN AND TEARS IF THERE IS NO RESULT IN THAT WHICH I AM SUPPOSED TO BECOME? IF THAT IS NOT CHANGING, WHY DOES IT NEED ALL STRUGGLE AND PAIN? (and I don´t need any comment that says “it doesn´t”, that would piss me off)

If it is ever not changing, there should be no reason for this pain that is supposed to make us “grow” and come closer to and finally be absorbd by the Absolute. If there is no change in the Absolute we would not be here. There must be a reason for that pain and struggle.

The second piece I need answered is why they all dismiss the world? Motions in Awareness created us. How can they say nothing changes? It is impossible.

I am not sure I can finish that paper or continue this. Am I strong enough to go throu this again? I don´t know yet. The next couple of days will probably show me.

Absolute truth...

In thread "Deuteronomy 13" on Collections:
Posted: 2007-03-31 16:06:16

quote chip:
"Absolute truth cannot be known because 'known' is a misnomer. Absolute truth is knowing. And it can't be expressed absolutly.
If anything it will make one ultra liberal for it, ( absolute truth) transcends all relative conditional knowledge, being both the fabric conditional knowledge is written and remaining unstained.
Without parts, it's wholely unconcerned about the conditional squabbles of man over it's characteristics, for it is wholey present and nothing is lost, nothing is destroyed, nothing is harmed, nothing is gained, man bubbles up, man sinks back, stars supernova, and there is not even a blip in man's time measure we call eternity.
This discussion is not absolute truth. Absolute truth exists (present tense) before 'let there be light' before the performance of Tapas, non modifiable by reasoning. It's why all questions whither in it's presence.
This post is also not absolute truth. But it matters less then this comma, for that which is unchangeable won't be affected by it.
say on fellas....
Back to what i was doing, for now, i have the robins to watch and the swaying willows."

quote grim: "It's also why all questions form in its presence."

Was I wrong?

Saw a post from Asi on the collections today. It seemed as grims “work” with him might have been successful after all. If so, I was wrong about it then. Maybe it works for some people. Does not change for me though. I can´t do it that way. When I saw that post I got so frustrated. Why does everybody but me have nice things? In all those years I had 15 min of being in a state of wonder. 15 minutes of 10 years. Not much. But I have to tell grim to let me be. I can´t do it that way, if any way. I don´t trust it. If it smashes me once more I will not survive.

Talked to grim yesterday. Thought he might have been a bit hurt, but no, don´t seem so. If it had been Eddie he had banned me long ago. (As, in fact he did.)

Anyway, Was thinkin gof that “Neither” yesterday on my way to my parents. They talk about Truth, and Creation (Maya) and the Absolute. Are they the same? I don´t think so. I think it is:

Truth = Creation + The Absolute. Or like.. 0=+1-1

I see “Neither” as “not creation, not the Absolute. Then it leaves it open. A big questionmark??? Grim finally admitted that neither is the third way in “How do you know the Ultimate ?” thread.
quote 070209:
Aurora you said:"It is strange how you use "nither" and emediately come up with a third solution."Neither IS the third option, but when looking into it truthfully, then something else....

Can “Neither” stand alone? In dictionaries I looked at it can´t. So, if “Neither” is another way of saying “Truth”, then it needs the Absolute and The Creation as well.


OK, later, talked to grim for a long time. Maybe the problem is not what he does, but that it is done in an open forum, and I am sensitive to other peoples frustration as well as my own. He actually tries to understand what I am, how I work, but often you have to put him back on track when he gets astrayed. lol