2007-02-24

For Grimnexus

GrimNexus, going to the Collections I find your name on every thread.

Awakening is not for everyone. You have to select your “victims” carefully. To chose those who are ready and open.

You seem to think you can “talk” everyone into awakening, but that is not possible. Only a few persons are destined to reach it. You seem to think it is important to awaken everybody, but it isn´t. And you fail, like all awakened ones I have encountered, to explain why. Why is it important? Why shall I want it?

If I understand this whole thing, then awakening is not for helping people, it creates a window for the Universe to look through and feel through. But the human body involved has no advantage of it. No need for it.

The avearage person needs help with everyday business, They want a comforting hand to hold and a sholder to lean on when life is hard. That is where religions comes in. Awakening can´t provide that hope as religions gives. At least, I have not seen any hint that it does. The Universe is of no help when your child is badly hurt. A “god” or “angel” might be, even if it is only imaginary. The thought itself helps. The Absolute does not provide that comfort. The Absolute is only helpful when you have already reached it. And that is rare.

People have to evolve and grow from their present position, they don´t need to get the Ultimate hammered into their head. If not evolved enough, spiritually and biologically, they have no chance of understanding OR needing it. They might actually turn around if worked to hard on.

For me, I have come to a position of “standstill”. I think I know as much as I can know, and understand as much as I can understand, and still remain human. There might, still, be qualities about it that I don´t know about, spiritually and scientifically. But the trouble and pain has been too great. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me push forward. The only thing that can do it, is the Universe itself, and obviously, it does not think it is time yet.

For now I read a lot of Native folklore. I enjoy it, and becomes exited. It is beautiful. Gives purpose to their life, yet I know it is not for me. For me there is nothing more to do. For me there is no purpose nor is there any comforting “god” to lean on.

If you want to be a shepherd, learn about sheep!

2007-02-21

The Blog

This blog was created as a way to justify all that pain I experienced. I thought that if I can help others the pain would have had a purpose. Up to now I know only one that seemed to have has some benefit from it.

So……..I have to conclude that I have no purpose, I am not even able to help others! Except for old parents of course, and daughters that need money. But that is everyday life.

So, writing the blog from now on is just my dairy. Nothing more.

2007-02-20

I wonder………

if……..

just realized that I had not meditated indoors since May last year. In June I had the last “hit”. Looking in the backmirror I think it is the meditation that causes the “hits”. When i meditate indoors I go deep. As I learned at the yogaschool. And that is when I had that “brainsplit”.

When I am outdoors it does not work the same way, I let it come natural and focuses out on nature, not inwards. Even if they say it is meditation both ways it works differently in me.

So, I should not meditate? As I can remember it goes like: period of meditation, there comes a “hit”, I go crazy, refuses to do anything spiritual because of the pain. After some time it fades away. Slowly it startes over again. Starts to meditate, gets a “hit”………and, round and round we go..

I feel it is a part of it, even if it is more. During “active” periods I also usually have dreams and other visions. This past 9 months it has been nothing. I havn´t “worked” on it really. Mostly just documented old and new thoughts on the blog. And, kept a window open to friends.

Grim tries to push me, but don´t succed, I circle around it. lol

Science seems to be safe.

Winona´s Web

by Pricilla Cogan
Have been reading a book I found on the library. It is a trilogy but I only have the first book.

It is about a woman Meggie, that moved back to the countryhouse her grandmother once lived in. She workes as a psychiatrist in a nearby town.

One day she recieves a new patient, Winona, who is a sioux medicinwoman and pipebearer.

Winona says she shall die in two months time. Her daughter is frustrated. Now…. in therapy session, the roles turns. Winona takes over and starts to teach Meggie. The spirits wants that, so Winona has to stay a bit longer.

Winona teaches Meggie about being a native medicinwoman.

They also discuss a lot of things. This is Wionas thoughts about Jesus:
“She loves the story of Jesus birth but says it is a pitty that so much of the story is lost. They go from the child who KNOWS, to the adult man that has rediscovered what he had forgot.
He have learned to listen to the answers of his prayers. Most of us is stuck in the middle without any story that can help us. People goes to church and gets answers without having asked the questions. Yes, they can ask with the head, but the questions does not come from the heart.”

Once Winona asked the spirits in the sweetlodge about Jesus. They answered that Jesus was Gods son and was sent to the white man because the whites feared death so much.



This book was good to me right now. As I am a bit depressed and “out of purpose”, this is a book where Meggie is given, unknowingly at first, a new purpose with her life. Will I have a purpose? Or is eating and sleeping what will keep me alive. Just alive, not living.

2007-02-16

Depressed

I am getting depressed. An unusual feeling. What has happened the past years has not been depression. I´ve been hurt and I have been angry, but not depressed.

Now I find myself slipping down that ugly road of depression. Don´t know if it is due to the weather. But I think it is a growing feeling of having no purpose. It is hard to find a meaning anymore. And not much interest me. Even if I do my best. A human needs a purpose, and I have none.

I hate to see this new forest drown in my tears. So far it has not happened though. To live only because the heart don´t stop…………….. how pointless.

2007-02-13

A Pure-Consciousness Model of the Universe

by Richard P. Dolan
dick.dolan@stanfordalumni.org
August 1, 2006
© Copyright 2005,6 Richard P. Dolan


Abstract

This paper presents a model of the universe that is based on a nonphysical independent reality: consciousness. The model is unique in that it not only provides a precise model of consciousness, but also connects consciousness with the rest of reality. The universe is shown to be a natural consequence of consciousness, beginning with a "big bang." Consciousness is identified with existence, and the relation between existence and the self is explored.

Left out part! See link http://home.earthlink.net/~dolascetta/MetaFrameSet.html

The Universe Is a Consciousness
I'll close this paper with a summary of its main conclusions in the form of answers to questions that have always puzzled philosophers. The physics of this model of reality is developed and related to current theoretical and experimental results in Dolan (2005), which is entitled Inflaton Spacetime: A Discrete Quantum Spacetime Model Underlying the Standard Models of Particle Physics and Cosmology. In that paper, concepts are called spacetime points.

1. What is ultimate reality? The ultimate reality and the source of the universe is the abstract concept we call existence. We often think that abstract concepts only exist in our minds. However, existence is unlike other abstract concepts in that it is capable of thinking itself. It is the essence of mind. Because it thinks itself, it creates itself and it exists necessarily, that is, existence always exists. Even to think about a state in which nothing exists we must use the concept existence. Existence and nothingness are just two ways of looking at the same concept. In mathematical terms, existence is true of itself, that is, it takes on the value true when applied to itself. The only other concept like it is one that each of us is familiar with: our self. My self is the dot of consciousness at the center of my being. It is an abstract concept that is the essence of what I am, and it is true of itself, because what I am includes a conscious self. Here, then, is a concept that is true of itself and it is conscious. In the concept model, we conclude that concepts that are true of themselves are conscious, so existence is also conscious. In the concept model, existence has a logical structure that allows it to be looked at in two ways, that is, it has two aspects. In its transcendent aspect, it is atemporal, unchanging, timeless. In its immanent aspect, it has multiple facets, most notably our selves. When we say that existence thinks itself, is true of itself, or creates itself, we mean that it is a self-referential concept. In logic, such concepts are known to result in logical paradoxes, and indeed, that is the nature of reality.

2. Is there a God? Yes. God is the name we give to the transcendent, atemporal, unchanging aspect of existence. Existence is an abstract concept, but it is a conscious being. In fact, existence and consciousness are the same concept. The transcendent aspect of existence (one of the two ways to look at existence) is outside of time and creates time and the temporal universe. We are existence observing itself inside of time. The former is God. We are not God. We do not create the universe. But God and our selves are different ways of looking at existence or consciousness. These two ways are related like particles and waves, which are two ways of looking at, say, electrons. They are views of the same thing, but they are incompatible. In physics, Bohr's principle of complementarity recognizes that this is the nature of reality. How you look at electrons determines whether you see particles or waves, and you can't have it both ways at the same time. God and our selves are like that.

3. Do we have free will? It is impossible to say either yes or no to this question. Our universe results from a single observation of itself by existence. This observation is outside of time and chooses one universe and its entire history from a population of potential universes. Is this choice random or an exercise of free will by existence (God)? The two possibilities are indistinguishable, so it is impossible to decide which is correct. Thus, it is impossible to say whether existence has free will. In our temporal universe, we observe a multitude of quantum events in which a single alternative is selected from two or more possible outcomes, a phenomenon called collapse of the wave function in quantum mechanics. This takes place all the time everywhere, even at the lowest level of our brains, where it offers the only possibility for us to have free will, since everything at the higher levels of our brains is deterministic, if often chaotic. Jeffrey Satinover, in his book, The Quantum Brain (Satinover, 2001), presents evidence that the brain does amplify this quantum indeterminism at its lowest level up to the level of experience, making it possible that we might have free will. However, are the quantum choices occurring in our brains made by our selves, or are they simply the random, quantum-mechanical collapsing of wave functions? Again, these are indistinguishable. So we are free to think that we have free will or not. Science doesn't seem to be able to give us the answer. (Click here for an expanded discussion of free will.)

4. What is the origin of evil? The universe obeys the quantum mechanical principle that unless something is impossible, there is a nonzero probability that it will be observed, that is, that it will exist. This results in a universe that exhibits a high degree of diversity, not only in species, but in ideas, ways of thinking, temperaments, personalities, races, social groupings, nations, and so on. This allows the universe to approach some optimal state through natural selection. Species, ideas, and so on often oppose each other and compete with each other, the strongest winning out. Diversity is good because it prevents stagnation. However, if you are on the losing end of some encounter, you are likely to see the winner as evil. Thus, the source of evil is diversity, which is good. So unless we want everyone to think and act in rigidly controlled ways, a condition that many see as evil, we are stuck with diversity and we are stuck with evil.

5. Can everything be explained logically? Because reality (existence) is self-referential, logic is severely limited. There are almost always different ways to look at questions, so that two people can argue a point with perfect logic and come to different conclusions. Self-reference always leads to logical paradoxes.

6. What are the theological and philosophical implications of the concept model? In the concept model, paradoxes are inherent in reality because reality is self-referential. What philosophers may call paradoxes, logicians may call contradictions, theologians may call mysteries, and physicists may call dualities. The concept model says that it is impossible to resolve all of these ambiguities. In particular, science cannot resolve them. Science may gradually shrink their sphere of influence, but it can never get rid of them. Humans are extremely uncomfortable with paradoxes. While the concept model says that there is a God, it reveals virtually nothing about God. Humans want to know how to relate to God, but the concept model can't even say whether there is free will. The search for answers to our questions about our relations with God, other people, and nature is the work of theologians and philosophers. Although theology and philosophy can't resolve all of the mysteries any better than science can, they are there to guide us. Ultimately, each of us makes personal decisions in these matters.

7. What is consciousness? Consciousness is another name for existence. Existence is an abstract concept that is true of itself. This condition is necessary and sufficient for a concept to be a conscious being, a thought thinking itself. The only such concepts are existence and our selves, which are existence observing itself in time. Our selves are formed in our brains when we become conscious. They result from brain function, but unlike other concepts that our brains can form, these concepts are themselves conscious. This is why we feel that there is more to consciousness than just brain function.

8. Is consciousness prior to existence or vice versa? In the concept model, these two concepts are identical. They are the same concept with different names. Neither is prior to the other.

9. What happens to us when we die? The answer to this question is one of the paradoxes that comes from the self-referential nature of reality. What happens depends on whether your frame of reference is temporal or atemporal, and the answers are incompatible. If you look at death from the temporal frame of reference, which is our frame of reference, everything about us that is temporal ceases to exist when we die. This includes our memories and our personalities. Our physical bodies go to sleep and never wake up. On the other hand, consciousness, which is a nonphysical human characteristic, always exists. Existence always exists, atemporal and unchanging. Thus, from the atemporal reference frame, absolutely nothing happens when we die. Existence simply exists. Looked at in this way, when we die our selves become indistinguishable from existence and are not aware of ever having been otherwise.

10. What happened before the big bang? What happens after the universe ends? These are meaningless questions because existence has an atemporal, unchanging aspect. Seen from this unchanging reference frame, there is always a big bang. Every instant of time always exists. There is always an end of the universe. It is as if there were an infinite number of universes identical to ours but displaced in time. In this picture, there are an infinite number of Dick Dolans, all infused with conscious selves. But because consciousness has no memory, each of these selves thinks that this is the first and only time that our universe has unfolded. Thus, something that is timeless and unchanging looks to us like a changing, one-shot universe with a beginning and an end. Here we have yet another paradox that has its roots in the self-referential nature of reality. By the way, the lack of memory is what makes it possible for consciousness to exist in all living humans at the same time while seeing itself as separate and unique in each case. There is only one consciousness and it is in all of us, but its temporal memory and knowledge are different in each of us. Its view of itself in time is absolutely limited in each of us by our individual brains.

11. What is time? In the concept model the concept existence has a logical nature by which new concepts can be defined in terms of others. The total number of concepts gets larger as you advance through this logical structure. There are two ways to look at this progression. Either all possible concepts exist at once, or the number of concepts expands in stages that resemble time steps. The universe obeys the quantum mechanical rule that says that both of these possibilities are likely to be observed. We are existence observing its temporal self, so we see the universe expanding in time.

12. How does existence create the physical, temporal universe? The physics of the creation of the universe by existence is the subject of my physics paper (Dolan, 2005). The concepts of the concept model become spacetime points in my quantum spacetime model. The logical expansion in the number of concepts, seen as an expansion in time, is the big bang. The particles of which we are made are processes involving spacetime points. Thus, we are made of time and this is why we can experience time. Our universe results from a single self observation by existence that chooses one universe from an infinite population of potential universes. By a process of natural selection that takes place outside of time, the population of potential universes is dominated by universes that support living beings with conscious selves. This process is described earlier in this paper.

Historical Note
The ideas in the first half of this paper date from 1964. There have been many revisions over the years. The first Internet version appeared in August 1999.
References
Barbour, Julian (2000), The End of Time (New York: Oxford University Press).
Dolan, Richard (2005), Inflaton Spacetime: A Discrete Quantum Spacetime Model Underlying the Standard Models of Particle Physics and Cosmology, http://home.earthlink.net/~dolascetta/PhysicsFrameSet.html
Griffiths, Robert B. and Omnès, Roland (1999), "Consistent Histories and Quantum Measurements," Physics Today, August 1999, pp.26-31.
Greene, Brian (2004), The Fabric of the Cosmos (New York: Alfred A. Knopf).
Satinover, Jeffrey (2001), The Quantum Brain (New York: John Wiley and Sons).
Smolin, Lee (1997), The Life of the Cosmos (New York and Oxford: Oxford University Press).

Teachers

I have thought of this a lot. In my experience I could never have a teacher when it comes to spirituallity. But I needed somebody to explain things that happened, and maybe telling me what might happen next. Someone experienced. Not “booklearned”. I always hated when someone told me… this is it! And then I see it is not true to me. I was never able to go from A to B, I seem to be randomly pushed. I´ve never been in charge in this. Every time I try to do something I fail.

There was a young woman on the SDF once. She came forward telling everyone that she was to be the shepherd leading everyone to salvation. The problem was she knew nothing about “sheeps”. To be a teacher, you have to know not only the subject to teach, you also have to know how student works. You have to know about people to be able to teach.

edited 070215

2007-02-09

Colors

Read an article about birds visions. They see 4 colors, blue, green, red and UV. We only see blue, green and red. So, birds have another view of the world then we have.

It is kind of strange to read about things like colors.

Translating:
“It is also correct that the colors as we see them, are related to the wavelenght in the reflecting light (from the objects). But the colors as we see them are only brainchemistry and only exists in or consiousness. “

What is so strange is that they explain that there is no colors and then they have several pages when they explain how birds and humans grasps and depends on colors.

I don´t doubt that colors are wavelenghts received in the brain and presented to us as colors. But as a certain wavelenght always gives a specific color, could you not then say that that the colors are qualities of the wavelenghts? So, actually, a certain wavelenght IS a certain color. So, you can say colors exists, even if we don´t see them.

What we call colors in daily life is not the colors itself. It is material that reflects light in a certain way and we learn to use those materials. But they too changes during the day or other circumstances. The red color on the wall changes due to weatherconditions. A rainy day gives a different “red” then a sunny day does. Incoming light determines what reflects from the surface.

Some years ago I realised that the chakrasystem had the colors of the rainbow. The rainbow comes out of white light going through raindrops or prisms. Maybe that is one aspect of our beings. We emerge from the source in a similar way as the colors from the rainbow. And when the prizm closes, we go back to sorce.

Enough for today

Edited 070210

2007-02-08

A Course in Consciousness

next on my readlist. A Course in Consciousness, http://faculty.virginia.edu/consciousness/

Part 1. Quantum theory and consciousness
Preface to part 1.
Part 1 consists of notes on the philosophical and scientific underpinnings of this course in consciousness. We establish the context of our discussion within the three major types of metaphysical philosophy, ask the questions that are naturally raised when one begins a study of conscious mind, summarize the scientific data that must be taken into account in any attempt to understand the phenomena of consciousness, and present a simple, understandable description of the philosophical and quantum theoretical basis for the need to include consciousness in our description of the material world. We shall see that, from a sound, scientific point of view, not only is it impossible to understand the material world without considering the consciousness of its observer, but, in fact, it is Consciousness which manifests the world. However, it cannot be the individual consciousness of the observer that does this, but it must be nonlocal, universal Consciousness.
This page last updated April 12, 2000.

Chapter 26. Very short summary
The following concepts, like all concepts, cannot describe Reality, but, unlike most concepts, they point to Reality.
1. The premise: Consciousness is all there is. Another word for Consciousness is the impersonal, yet intimate, I.2. The conclusions:
I am not an object or entity. Objects and entities are never real. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Whatever is not supposed to happen will not happen. There is no doer, so there is no choice.The entire manifestation is an expression of Love.
3. The practice: Don’t believe this—look and see it for yourself!
This page last updated July 16, 2005.


Dialogue in Consciousness question and answer page:
15. What can you do to awaken?
a. Since direct seeing shows that there is no doer, there is nothing that you can do to awaken.
b. Since awakening transcends time, and all practices are time-bound, no practice can bring about awakening.

2007-02-05

Quantum Consiousness

Here is links to two interesting things. One is an online book, the other is a scientific overview of the field. This is the kind of stuff I understand. Even if it is hard, but these is written in a way so “normal” people have a chance to understand.

Quantum Consciousness

And your Immortality

By
James L. Forberg

http://home.mindspring.com/~bayflower/index.html


and the article:

Funda-Mentality" Is the Conscious Mind Subtly Linked to a Basic Level of the Universe?
http://physics.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=physics&cdn=education&tm=5&gps=54_282_977_735&f=11&tt=14&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.quantumconsciousness.org/

goto “Publications” and then the article as above.

enjoy!