2011-04-07

Star on COT

110407 Hi  Gates

 I wouldn´t be so impressed about her being in the “Dark Night of the Soul”. To my knowledge it was self inflicted and she dragged a lot of others in there with her.

 She pretended to be that all loving person that, despite all suffering, loved everyone else. But her lesson to me and others was hate.

 She flooded the Forum with her poems too and sent it by mail to everybody without asking if you wanted it, and expected everyone to be grateful for it. The only person she loved was herself.

 For a period of time she had multiple users to the forum so she should not be blamed for what she was doing. Harrasing people, spewing poison around her. I know she was far down in the drugs, but you shouldn´t hurt others because of that. It was her own doing. But she let others suffer for it. But she was discovered after a while.

 But she was determined, and, probably, got there. I give her credit for that. And she was/is a good writer.

 But to see that she was the one that made it throuh, that hurts. While other beautiful people didn´t. People that left the Forum bleeding. Turning away from spirituality. I hope she is happy where she is so it was worth it. But with that knowledge I will never go there. It proves that spiritual growth has nothing to do with being kind and gentle. Everything you learned it should be. You can be as evil as hell and still get there if you are determined enough. She walked, literally, over corpses to get there.

 The longing in the heart never leaves, it is probably a function of being a human, but I will never act on it again. Just feel like I should write this down as you wrote me once on the blog.

 But she is still a good writer, this might be for real. Can a person change that much? And what about all those she wounded?

http://collectionofthoughts.com/bbpress/topic/1523