Have been thinking of habits and attachments. The human need for those. As I am in the process of moving, still 2 months before it will happen, but am planning and going through things. And throwing things away.
A lot of things is popping up. There are habits, attachments and routines that will have to go. Fine, but then…….there will not be long until I have created a bunch of new ones. The human need for familier things.
Can I avoid it? Probably not. To live in society means knowing where the store is. What floor you live on. Remember to lock the door. But don´t need the chain on balconydoor. The hand has to learn where the new swiches are located. A new way to the local store. Can´t go daydreaming for a while then. :-)
Actually, to LIVE is to do that. And with habits grows attachments. No way, as I know about, to avoid it. So, first I free myself, shake it “off, all off” as the shampoo ad says. Then I create a new set. This seem to be done even if it is not really necessary.
So, what is the point?? Just to be aware of it.
2006-08-31
2006-08-30
060830 Wednesday
I feel a bit slow and lazy now. It is like the calm before the storm. Peculier feeling. The brain is clogged. Not the fist time it happens. Some kind of rest I think.
Still throwing things out. Have come so far I have to make a sketch to see what furniture I can still keep. And what has to go. Also start to wonder how it will be. When the move is done. Things is popping up now and then, things I had not considered. There are a lot of habits that has to be broken and changed. Things you are not even aware of. I think it will be a good experience.
Still throwing things out. Have come so far I have to make a sketch to see what furniture I can still keep. And what has to go. Also start to wonder how it will be. When the move is done. Things is popping up now and then, things I had not considered. There are a lot of habits that has to be broken and changed. Things you are not even aware of. I think it will be a good experience.
2006-08-28
The system
Well, first thing I have to admit I have not studied this really. Just surfaced it a little here and a little there. This is what I have come up with so far. Depending of understanding it differs a bit between the actual numbers in most of the things mentioned below.
There seem to be:
Spiritual:
- a body of matter
- at least 5 energybodies as I have seen noticed
- chakrasystem, 7 main chakras
- 7 astral planes
- reincarnation
- akashic records
- healing energy
- guides
Science:
- body of matter
- microbes
- mind
- consciousness
- energybody
- atoms
- strings
and what ever………
7 visible colors, 7 astral planes, 7 main chakras, probably 7 “bodies” as well (5+1+”One”). Do they correspond to each other? What about the nonvisible energies? Is that the other energybodies we can´t see or notice.
It is certainly a complicated and sophisticated system to be considered ”Nothing” and not existing. One can wonder why such a system should be created just to be ignored. Why would the Universe invent matter and living beings, just to struggle all the way, all the levels only to get back to where it started from? If it has no purpose why is it so delicate? Bodies within bodies. Systems within systems. Life within life. Level upon level. And all of it dependent of each other. Needing each other. One Life!
What a complicated “hide and seek” for/from itself.
It seem to be too much to even try to grasp. But maybe I don´t have to. Well, enough with twisting brains today. Ah, but there is no brain to twist. Only strings. F L O A T I N G!
Creation floating in Nothing.
There seem to be:
Spiritual:
- a body of matter
- at least 5 energybodies as I have seen noticed
- chakrasystem, 7 main chakras
- 7 astral planes
- reincarnation
- akashic records
- healing energy
- guides
Science:
- body of matter
- microbes
- mind
- consciousness
- energybody
- atoms
- strings
and what ever………
7 visible colors, 7 astral planes, 7 main chakras, probably 7 “bodies” as well (5+1+”One”). Do they correspond to each other? What about the nonvisible energies? Is that the other energybodies we can´t see or notice.
It is certainly a complicated and sophisticated system to be considered ”Nothing” and not existing. One can wonder why such a system should be created just to be ignored. Why would the Universe invent matter and living beings, just to struggle all the way, all the levels only to get back to where it started from? If it has no purpose why is it so delicate? Bodies within bodies. Systems within systems. Life within life. Level upon level. And all of it dependent of each other. Needing each other. One Life!
What a complicated “hide and seek” for/from itself.
It seem to be too much to even try to grasp. But maybe I don´t have to. Well, enough with twisting brains today. Ah, but there is no brain to twist. Only strings. F L O A T I N G!
Creation floating in Nothing.
2006-08-27
The resistence of ego?
For a couple of days now I have been feeling great. But now I seem to develop a depression.
This “feeling great” has somehow enhanced some feelings that has developed over the past year. For some years now I have the feeling that “spirituality” wants me to stop heavy exercises. For what reason I don´t know, I still do them as I think a strong body is good for a human.
The last year I also seem to have changed the “need” for nature. I don´t have the same urge to go out sometimes. (except for the past three months when I spent all time out there.) The forest and lake is not that important anymore. Maybe because it seem to have changed. Have I spoiled it with all my tears? Dragged it down with my sorrow? I owe it a lot but it does not give the same feeling anymore.
It also seem that when one feel good inside, the need for outer input seem to vanish, thus interrest for it stops. And now, it seems as I am getting depressed because of it.
The resistence of ego??
It still wants to live the old life. But that is not going to happen even if the change will not be as fundamental as I would have wanted it to. You do need an appartment in Sweden. And money to pay rent and food.
I´m tired.
This “feeling great” has somehow enhanced some feelings that has developed over the past year. For some years now I have the feeling that “spirituality” wants me to stop heavy exercises. For what reason I don´t know, I still do them as I think a strong body is good for a human.
The last year I also seem to have changed the “need” for nature. I don´t have the same urge to go out sometimes. (except for the past three months when I spent all time out there.) The forest and lake is not that important anymore. Maybe because it seem to have changed. Have I spoiled it with all my tears? Dragged it down with my sorrow? I owe it a lot but it does not give the same feeling anymore.
It also seem that when one feel good inside, the need for outer input seem to vanish, thus interrest for it stops. And now, it seems as I am getting depressed because of it.
The resistence of ego??
It still wants to live the old life. But that is not going to happen even if the change will not be as fundamental as I would have wanted it to. You do need an appartment in Sweden. And money to pay rent and food.
I´m tired.
2006-08-24
Cave concept
Talked to chip on the MSN yesterday. We talked about the thread “ You are god” on SDF.
I was actually thinking it is harder to get rid of the concept of “god” then of the ego. And I never was religious. I wonder why!
Maybe it is in our genes. Scientists speak of the “god-gene”. Maybe in the early history of man we actually needed the concept of something greater then ourselves. “God!”. But as we now seem to outgrow it, it is just a burden. Like so many other “cave-reactions” it does not fit in anymore.
Anyway, I find it very hard to get rid of. Or it is one of those cornerstones we have to pass. To overcome, before we can enter what really AM.
I was actually thinking it is harder to get rid of the concept of “god” then of the ego. And I never was religious. I wonder why!
Maybe it is in our genes. Scientists speak of the “god-gene”. Maybe in the early history of man we actually needed the concept of something greater then ourselves. “God!”. But as we now seem to outgrow it, it is just a burden. Like so many other “cave-reactions” it does not fit in anymore.
Anyway, I find it very hard to get rid of. Or it is one of those cornerstones we have to pass. To overcome, before we can enter what really AM.
2006-08-23
Rainbow feelings
Rainbow feelings
It took three months to ”get back to normal” this time. It´s a long time and now I hope it stays calm for another three months at least. Don´t need any more disturbances before I have moved. Later…….it does not matter.
A thought came back to me. I have been thinking of the nature of the universal awareness. Most religious people talks of all that love that I have not seen anything of. But I can see others have some, so it exists. Once, think it was last winter, I equaled the range of feelings with the range of colors. In the same way the colors of the rainbow makes for white light, maybe the range of feelings makes the stillness of the universe.
“White light” contains all colors.
“Black” contains all energy wavelenghts, including white light (I think it does)
“Stillness” contains all feelings, from rage and hate to love and compassion.
“Zero” contains all numbers, both plus and minus.
From this comes:
´Black+Stillness+Zero´ =”The Source” which contains it All. Awareness and Creation.
Hmmmmmm!
It took three months to ”get back to normal” this time. It´s a long time and now I hope it stays calm for another three months at least. Don´t need any more disturbances before I have moved. Later…….it does not matter.
A thought came back to me. I have been thinking of the nature of the universal awareness. Most religious people talks of all that love that I have not seen anything of. But I can see others have some, so it exists. Once, think it was last winter, I equaled the range of feelings with the range of colors. In the same way the colors of the rainbow makes for white light, maybe the range of feelings makes the stillness of the universe.
“White light” contains all colors.
“Black” contains all energy wavelenghts, including white light (I think it does)
“Stillness” contains all feelings, from rage and hate to love and compassion.
“Zero” contains all numbers, both plus and minus.
From this comes:
´Black+Stillness+Zero´ =”The Source” which contains it All. Awareness and Creation.
Hmmmmmm!
2006-08-21
Workdream again
I am having a version of the Workdream again. And, as usual, several days in a row.
Now I am just going through the pages, it is like an Internetsite nowadays. It seem to be all there but in the wrong order, so I want to structure it up so the Index should come first. Then I realise it is located on another computer. “Another” ....this time, not the wrong one. But I try to see how it should be anyway.
Still wake up too early and have trouble going back to sleep. And I have to work.
Now I am just going through the pages, it is like an Internetsite nowadays. It seem to be all there but in the wrong order, so I want to structure it up so the Index should come first. Then I realise it is located on another computer. “Another” ....this time, not the wrong one. But I try to see how it should be anyway.
Still wake up too early and have trouble going back to sleep. And I have to work.
2006-08-20
There is an empty space inside me.
There is an empty space inside me. It needs to grow but seem to be unable to do that. The body/ego don´t want to give up it´s space.
This moving business. The longer the time goes the more i realize this is only done by half. I wish I had the freedom and money to throw it all away. Pack two bags and leave. Travel around the world. That is what I want.
But……when this move is done I will still be loaded with “stuff” of this world. All that fits in 2 rooms and a kitchen.
What shall I do? What CAN I do?
This moving business. The longer the time goes the more i realize this is only done by half. I wish I had the freedom and money to throw it all away. Pack two bags and leave. Travel around the world. That is what I want.
But……when this move is done I will still be loaded with “stuff” of this world. All that fits in 2 rooms and a kitchen.
What shall I do? What CAN I do?
Not feeling well
I am not feeling well. Have not slept that much the last week and I feel dizzy. I have done some healing work the last months, why am I then getting sick?
2006-08-17
2006-08-13
Account of Richard
Have been reading an enlightenment account of Richard recommened by chip. So far only the Personal History.
But if I understand this correctly he has actually passed the state of “enlightenment”.
So, it seems that what I suspected is true. There are more to it than they say. The Absolute has some more tricks up the sleeve.
http://www.actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/abriefpersonalhistory.htm
But if I understand this correctly he has actually passed the state of “enlightenment”.
So, it seems that what I suspected is true. There are more to it than they say. The Absolute has some more tricks up the sleeve.
http://www.actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/abriefpersonalhistory.htm
2006-08-12
Astral-Meditation-Dreams
For about a year now I have had the feeling that dreams, visions and meditation experiences are the same thing. No real difference between them.
Like when I realised that all the different healing methods are actually the same thing. Nothing unique about any of them. The difference is only due to how a person most easily deals with /handles it. The same energy is used it is just the way your mind deals with it that differs.
Now, all those visions, dreams and meditation experiences I had made me think I was special. Been “taken care off”! Even if often I got pissed as I rarely understood the meaning of it. Twisted my mind inside out in order to understand it. Now it seems as those events is all due to Astral Projection, OBE:s, triggered unconsciously. Like “out of the maze” probably was in the Buddhic, maybe. Or close to it. So, a vision is not more “special” then a dream. It was just triggered when I was awake.
Is it only random, meaningless events?? Or are there some kind of “comandocentral” somewhere?
Remaining question: Is it random or is it done to guide you? And by who? As The Absolute does not care or moves!
Something is still missing. And I have to link that Dark Night to this Astral world.
Like when I realised that all the different healing methods are actually the same thing. Nothing unique about any of them. The difference is only due to how a person most easily deals with /handles it. The same energy is used it is just the way your mind deals with it that differs.
Now, all those visions, dreams and meditation experiences I had made me think I was special. Been “taken care off”! Even if often I got pissed as I rarely understood the meaning of it. Twisted my mind inside out in order to understand it. Now it seems as those events is all due to Astral Projection, OBE:s, triggered unconsciously. Like “out of the maze” probably was in the Buddhic, maybe. Or close to it. So, a vision is not more “special” then a dream. It was just triggered when I was awake.
Is it only random, meaningless events?? Or are there some kind of “comandocentral” somewhere?
Remaining question: Is it random or is it done to guide you? And by who? As The Absolute does not care or moves!
Something is still missing. And I have to link that Dark Night to this Astral world.
2006-08-10
Change
Yesterday i started to do Yoga Nidra again. And today I started with some chakra-energy work. As a mean to start with OBE. If I can learn to do that it would be a neat tool to learn about the astrals. The article I found two days ago seem to be very good. It explains a technique to do it. It might work if I am able to work with it properly.
It is strange, I had a lot of friends on the net. But now as I have no business at the forums they seem to have vanished. Nobody is on the MSN any more, or rarely. And the mailbox is empty. My daughter did not like the idéa of me moving, but so far I have not seen her much. And my parttime job seem very quiet. Bet they will scream when I have no time due to the move.
Maybe this is really a big change in ALL aspects of my life. Well, it can´t be for the worse. That´s not possible I think.
It is strange, I had a lot of friends on the net. But now as I have no business at the forums they seem to have vanished. Nobody is on the MSN any more, or rarely. And the mailbox is empty. My daughter did not like the idéa of me moving, but so far I have not seen her much. And my parttime job seem very quiet. Bet they will scream when I have no time due to the move.
Maybe this is really a big change in ALL aspects of my life. Well, it can´t be for the worse. That´s not possible I think.
2006-08-09
Spiritual Construction
In March a friend offered to teach me, but then changed her mind due to the situation on the astral planes that she is sencitive to. It was not a good time to start.
Is it a good time now??
Is it a good time now??
2006-08-08
The Astral Plane
I have decided to learn about the astral planes.
As I can´t get away from the feeling that I have to know it all. I am not supposed to know “nothing” I am supposed to know “all”. I can´t ignore any part of it.
When I see a human being and it´s complicated structure, both physically and phsycologically and then considers all the astral worlds and the interaction between it all. Reincarnation, guides. Strings, quarks, energies, awareness, matter in all densities. The transitions, the interactions! How delicate the systems work and the design of every thing. How can one just ignore it and say “there is nothing”. “You don´t exist”. If there was no reason for this existence, why is is so delicate and complicated? If it is just a buch of crap, what´s the reason for the marvellous workings? The complicated design? If it is just BS it would be a very simple design. Or I would not be here investigating at all.
How can one just say it does not exist?
Somewhere on the net there are a video that starts with pictures of The Universe. Then it shrinks by the scale of hundred or so. Passes by galax clusters, galaxies, starsystems, solarsystems, planets, living beings, parasites, molecules, atoms, protons, quarks and strings.
Everything interacting and dependent of each other. The basic substance combining itself in different ways to create different kinds of “matter”. All the range from eather to led.
Secret Worlds: The Universe Within
View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html
Am reading this article right now.
http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/astral/astralp1_rbruce.htm
As I can´t get away from the feeling that I have to know it all. I am not supposed to know “nothing” I am supposed to know “all”. I can´t ignore any part of it.
When I see a human being and it´s complicated structure, both physically and phsycologically and then considers all the astral worlds and the interaction between it all. Reincarnation, guides. Strings, quarks, energies, awareness, matter in all densities. The transitions, the interactions! How delicate the systems work and the design of every thing. How can one just ignore it and say “there is nothing”. “You don´t exist”. If there was no reason for this existence, why is is so delicate and complicated? If it is just a buch of crap, what´s the reason for the marvellous workings? The complicated design? If it is just BS it would be a very simple design. Or I would not be here investigating at all.
How can one just say it does not exist?
Somewhere on the net there are a video that starts with pictures of The Universe. Then it shrinks by the scale of hundred or so. Passes by galax clusters, galaxies, starsystems, solarsystems, planets, living beings, parasites, molecules, atoms, protons, quarks and strings.
Everything interacting and dependent of each other. The basic substance combining itself in different ways to create different kinds of “matter”. All the range from eather to led.
Secret Worlds: The Universe Within
View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html
Am reading this article right now.
http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/astral/astralp1_rbruce.htm
Body
Posted: Aug 8 2006, 08:43 AM by Agyat the unknown in "The path of least resistance"
Please be careful while interpreting this -
I have heard this voice from within while one of those encounters with the unknown -
'If this body is not yours, who are you to sacrifice it.'
From then on, I feel this physical self as a rented house for which I need to 'pay' regularily for this occupancy!
Aurora:
one of those dejavu´s thanks for sharing Agyat
Please be careful while interpreting this -
I have heard this voice from within while one of those encounters with the unknown -
'If this body is not yours, who are you to sacrifice it.'
From then on, I feel this physical self as a rented house for which I need to 'pay' regularily for this occupancy!
Aurora:
one of those dejavu´s thanks for sharing Agyat
2006-08-07
No, the goal can´t be to be nothing.
Pure awareness, The Source, The One, is all there is.
The goal must be to see the truth of all worlds and how they work together as a unit. Be able to shift the point of awareness at will. You can´t deny any part of The One. If you do, it is not The One.
An old thought coming back.
The goal must be to see the truth of all worlds and how they work together as a unit. Be able to shift the point of awareness at will. You can´t deny any part of The One. If you do, it is not The One.
An old thought coming back.
There is no stomach with a knot
There is no stomach with a knot
there is no ME to feel it
then, how can I go through the Veil?
There is no veil, it´s all a lie. And I´m trying to fool myself.
there is no ME to feel it
then, how can I go through the Veil?
There is no veil, it´s all a lie. And I´m trying to fool myself.
2006-08-06
Here we go again
Had a little reminder. It just can´t leave me, can it?
Why is it so fun to put me in the electric chair? This game isn´t fun. The charge is strong enough to put my system in chaos. The book said this is “the touch of god, the light strong enough to sour my eyes” or something like that. And i can´t even shield myself as I never know when it comes. If this is the way to learn trust and love, it´s totally wrong. I don´t trust it a bit. and I think I hate it more then love it. And can´t do a shit about it.
Why is it so fun to put me in the electric chair? This game isn´t fun. The charge is strong enough to put my system in chaos. The book said this is “the touch of god, the light strong enough to sour my eyes” or something like that. And i can´t even shield myself as I never know when it comes. If this is the way to learn trust and love, it´s totally wrong. I don´t trust it a bit. and I think I hate it more then love it. And can´t do a shit about it.
Light souls
Why don´t I find a soul light and fresh as a summerbreeze above the water?
Why does my own not become like that?
Is it my own senses that fools me when I can´t sense them? The light souls! Even those who seem to be enlightened is trapped in matter and don’t fly freely.
Matter is so heavy, pins you to the ground.
I am longing…………..
Why does my own not become like that?
Is it my own senses that fools me when I can´t sense them? The light souls! Even those who seem to be enlightened is trapped in matter and don’t fly freely.
Matter is so heavy, pins you to the ground.
I am longing…………..
2006-08-04
2006-08-03
Half full or half empty?
http://www.truthrealization.com/permalink/half-full.html
If you have glass half way filled with water would you see it as half full or half empty?
Hi Eddie,
just wanted to make a comment on this last post of yours. Every time I see that story, I smile because my answer is dependent on how thirsty I am. If I am in the desert, the glas is halfempty.
Monica
If you have glass half way filled with water would you see it as half full or half empty?
Hi Eddie,
just wanted to make a comment on this last post of yours. Every time I see that story, I smile because my answer is dependent on how thirsty I am. If I am in the desert, the glas is halfempty.
Monica
Neti and Nerves
Neti-Neti, a good thing they say. Does it work? I am not too sure about it. Since that dream about “the tall man taking my things away”, a lot of things has been unattached. I am still attached to nature though so I am not totally free.
BUT, now the question, how do I handle the body? How can I tell the body to act in accordance to the mind and soul?? Do I have to cut out my stomach?? Do surgery to cut those nerves?
There are things like my sister. She has a way of trying to make everone else to think her ways. I am just soo tired of it and we came to a confrontation when I had the last three “energyhits” in the beginning of June. I cut her off as she tried to make me do things I had no wish to do. I had my own problems to attend to.
I don´t care about her anymore. I am just tired of her ways. I have tried to heal our relation. The latest system is called EFT. Should be very good, but no changes in me as I can feel. I have tried to heal and release our relation. How do I conform the body with the mind?? I have tried healingsystems, reasonings, meditations. Nothing seem to do the trick. The body does not care to change.
My mind don´t bother anymore but my bodysystem JUST don´t want another confrontation.
My sister still tries to make me play with dolls.
BUT, now the question, how do I handle the body? How can I tell the body to act in accordance to the mind and soul?? Do I have to cut out my stomach?? Do surgery to cut those nerves?
There are things like my sister. She has a way of trying to make everone else to think her ways. I am just soo tired of it and we came to a confrontation when I had the last three “energyhits” in the beginning of June. I cut her off as she tried to make me do things I had no wish to do. I had my own problems to attend to.
I don´t care about her anymore. I am just tired of her ways. I have tried to heal our relation. The latest system is called EFT. Should be very good, but no changes in me as I can feel. I have tried to heal and release our relation. How do I conform the body with the mind?? I have tried healingsystems, reasonings, meditations. Nothing seem to do the trick. The body does not care to change.
My mind don´t bother anymore but my bodysystem JUST don´t want another confrontation.
My sister still tries to make me play with dolls.
2006-08-02
Maya and enlightenment
I can´t see how one thing is "illusion" and another not. How can ANYTHING be more real or unreal then anything else. There is but ONE Universe and everything in it is REAL.
Don´t measure The Universe from limited senses.
Posted: Aug 2 2006, 07:58 AM by Aurora in Maya and Enlightenment, SDF
I am still working with this blog. There seem to be a pattern in there. But I am not finished yet. A little later I will take a step back and see what patterns there are. I think I am working throu both my human and spiritual lives. This blog and my home as I will move and am throwing away a lot of stuff.
Don´t measure The Universe from limited senses.
Posted: Aug 2 2006, 07:58 AM by Aurora in Maya and Enlightenment, SDF
I am still working with this blog. There seem to be a pattern in there. But I am not finished yet. A little later I will take a step back and see what patterns there are. I think I am working throu both my human and spiritual lives. This blog and my home as I will move and am throwing away a lot of stuff.
2006-08-01
In the bubble & teachers
For a few days now I had this feeling of being in a bubble. I have been here before. It is when you do everything as in a dream. I started to clean out the appartment for the moving in three months time. Then i “clean” out this spiritual mess, trying to get some structure to it. Then reading one of my granddaughters “Magic” books. And no matter what I do I am only half aware. The rest is elsewere.
When I look back I realise this is a period that sometimes comes after those violent and disturbing “hits”. (Se Dark Night) It is like a resting and recovering period. But there are also surges of energy going on. Like whe you loose balance and almost fall. And of course the hands and feet. There is a sound in my head, like background noice.
Been thinking a bit of spiritual teachers. Was looking at the homepage of one yesterday. It has changed remarkebly since the last time I visited. Earlier there was a lot of interresting stuff on that site, now only schedules and a book for sale. OK, they have to live, but it is sad.
I also have been thinking of the troubles I have and how teachers react to it. They don´t! They talk about a harsh path to Enlightenment but then, in their teachings they mostly tries to describe what can´t be described. But as I see it, a good teacher has to recognise the pitfalls and difficulties on every step of the way. For six long years noone could tell me anything about the “hits” of what I now know is either “raw energy” or the "tuch of the Divine". When I asked it was ignored mostly, or not recognised. So much suffering because nobody was able to tell me. What good is teachers if they can´t explain what I go through and guide me through it.
When I look back I realise this is a period that sometimes comes after those violent and disturbing “hits”. (Se Dark Night) It is like a resting and recovering period. But there are also surges of energy going on. Like whe you loose balance and almost fall. And of course the hands and feet. There is a sound in my head, like background noice.
Been thinking a bit of spiritual teachers. Was looking at the homepage of one yesterday. It has changed remarkebly since the last time I visited. Earlier there was a lot of interresting stuff on that site, now only schedules and a book for sale. OK, they have to live, but it is sad.
I also have been thinking of the troubles I have and how teachers react to it. They don´t! They talk about a harsh path to Enlightenment but then, in their teachings they mostly tries to describe what can´t be described. But as I see it, a good teacher has to recognise the pitfalls and difficulties on every step of the way. For six long years noone could tell me anything about the “hits” of what I now know is either “raw energy” or the "tuch of the Divine". When I asked it was ignored mostly, or not recognised. So much suffering because nobody was able to tell me. What good is teachers if they can´t explain what I go through and guide me through it.
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