Obstacles

This is truly a change of times for me. Up to now I was presented with one obstacle after another. I was smashed and hit. I was misunderstood. People NEVER read things the way it should be, as I ment it. Like if I said All, they thought I ment rock and flesh. When I ment “All”. Rock, flesh, thought, idéas, dreams, energy, concept, universe, radiation, spirits, even illusions.

Now it seems like all those obstacles is falling off one by one. The last one now was the concept of detachment and neti-neti. Everything I fought for, my “knowing” seems to be right after all, but somehow it has deepened in understanding. All those Neithers, netis, illusions and stuff turned out to be what I thought from the beginning. Just concepts to confuse me as I never was able to accept them as true. Things evolve as it should when you let it. I was wrong in trying to hold on to my version. It was not nessessary to fight, I just could have let it go out the other ear, and stick to what I thought was right. But that is not easy when everybody accuses you of being wrong and stupid.

Today I will pick up the book I ordered. The Dzogchen book by D Lama. Grim has encouraged me to join the Buddhist forum, but I don´t think I will. I don´t want to get caught up in any more obstacles. I will read the book and try to see throu it as I did the Tibetan one. I will try to remain free of thought. That is where I belong.

It is soooo nice to feel thoose false chips being chipped of now, to reveal ……………. what is still to ve seen. Hopefully no new ones are added.