Where do they come from?
Was looking at some older posts. One with a message “the humans are changing”. I don´t know how many times I got what appears to be messages. Just popping up into the brain from “out of the blue”. Sometimes they are understood. Sometimes they have no meaning I can see.
Everything that has been on the table lately when it comes to awakening makes me wonder. When appearances and thoughts rise and fall in Rigpa. Could those “messages” be something that was ment for another? I mean, maybe as a fraction in someone eleses conversation that took the wrong path and ended up in my brain. That would be some kind of proof that there is really but one mind. And all “private” minds overlapping each other. (Have to use common words even if my mind has a slightly diffent image of what might occur)
2007-12-31
Happy New Year!
Last day of the year! Today I wonder if the next one will finally see me released. I wouldn´t mind se teh end of this struggle. Today I will visit my father for New Years dinner. Wonder if I shall warn him? I mean, if I go nuts?? If I reach the place where I am aimed, then it certainly might be a rough ride. At least it had indicated that I am closing in.2007-12-30
Aimed at…Rigpa
I am in the middle of a conversation with c about illusions and stuff. About a week ago she gave me the link to “Seeing with naked eyes” that actually is very good.
Well I have been introcuced to a new name, Rigpa, that should equal the Absolute. There is some pieces missing in the blog due to it has been gone for 4 months. So some background happenings is missing. I will ad some of it later on to get the picture.
For now, what came to mind during this discussion about the nature of Rigpa, was “this is where I am aimed”. This is Home.
C was kind and described how she experience her present situation. Not what it IS, but how it works. As far as one can describe that. Seems as I did misunderstood something thou. I have to reread it.
I took the picture at the top of the blog this morning when I should meditate. Yesterday I had the same candle and when I looked at it though halfclosed eyes I saw the rays of light coming towards me. It was nice, but hard to get on a photo.
Well I have been introcuced to a new name, Rigpa, that should equal the Absolute. There is some pieces missing in the blog due to it has been gone for 4 months. So some background happenings is missing. I will ad some of it later on to get the picture.
For now, what came to mind during this discussion about the nature of Rigpa, was “this is where I am aimed”. This is Home.
C was kind and described how she experience her present situation. Not what it IS, but how it works. As far as one can describe that. Seems as I did misunderstood something thou. I have to reread it.
I took the picture at the top of the blog this morning when I should meditate. Yesterday I had the same candle and when I looked at it though halfclosed eyes I saw the rays of light coming towards me. It was nice, but hard to get on a photo.
2007-12-29
Thanks
I would like to thank the blog support staff. They made a good job of finding the blog I deleted. I asked them if it was possible to retrieve the URL. They found and restored the entire blog.
Thanks guys!
Thanks guys!
2007-12-20
crying attacks again
there has been some problem with the mailing. Letters go astray or comes very late. Has interrupted the comunication, disturbed it.
071220
Please, I need you to tell me what is good with this. Noone really does that. Nobody tells me why it is good, why it has to be done or what it does to your life. And I need to know.
The exercises does not go well. Night between tuesday and wednesday I did not get much sleep. The crying started. I cried for about 3h. Then I got up and took one of those pills I was given by the doc after the last main “hits” in june 2006. Then I slept.
Did not have time for the meditation later that morning as my dad waited for me. But today I did it again. After about 10 min I had Niagara Falls running down my cheaks instead of a nice Ha. You know, it is not an easy thing to meditate with tears running down your cheaks. So, stoped.
After lunch I went for a bike tour as dad had an appointment with his doctor. I was out for 2,5 h. During that time I had at least 6 crying attacks. Crying, silently shouting so nobody heard, between taking photos of frost. You, know, it is so painful. At one point I the pain was so great I took the bike, lifted it and throw it into the ditch. My cameras and the bag sliding all over the place.
I don´t know what to do. I am so sorry to have to send you this, but I need you to tell me what good HAS to come out of this. Is it really so good it is worth all this pain? PLEASE , I need to know. What does it DO to your life?
Two days ago, before the crying started I found a CD on internet. It seems like it is a different kind of Yoga Nidra. As I, at that time, had the impression I might be able to do this now I ordered the CD. So it is on its way. Don´t know if I ever dare use it. It seemed as it was deeper then usual, goes down to deep sleep conciousness, as they claimed. The old one I have kicks you out when the fun begins. L
Please , tell me something nice about it. This, my situation, has to end soon. One way or another. I can´t stand this pulling and rejection any longer.
Will not ad more to this. I am too tired to continue. It started too fast and I thought I was allowed to do it.
Talk about spoiled X-mas. Glad I was not supposed to go to my daughter and grandkids.
071220
Please, I need you to tell me what is good with this. Noone really does that. Nobody tells me why it is good, why it has to be done or what it does to your life. And I need to know.
The exercises does not go well. Night between tuesday and wednesday I did not get much sleep. The crying started. I cried for about 3h. Then I got up and took one of those pills I was given by the doc after the last main “hits” in june 2006. Then I slept.
Did not have time for the meditation later that morning as my dad waited for me. But today I did it again. After about 10 min I had Niagara Falls running down my cheaks instead of a nice Ha. You know, it is not an easy thing to meditate with tears running down your cheaks. So, stoped.
After lunch I went for a bike tour as dad had an appointment with his doctor. I was out for 2,5 h. During that time I had at least 6 crying attacks. Crying, silently shouting so nobody heard, between taking photos of frost. You, know, it is so painful. At one point I the pain was so great I took the bike, lifted it and throw it into the ditch. My cameras and the bag sliding all over the place.
I don´t know what to do. I am so sorry to have to send you this, but I need you to tell me what good HAS to come out of this. Is it really so good it is worth all this pain? PLEASE , I need to know. What does it DO to your life?
Two days ago, before the crying started I found a CD on internet. It seems like it is a different kind of Yoga Nidra. As I, at that time, had the impression I might be able to do this now I ordered the CD. So it is on its way. Don´t know if I ever dare use it. It seemed as it was deeper then usual, goes down to deep sleep conciousness, as they claimed. The old one I have kicks you out when the fun begins. L
Please , tell me something nice about it. This, my situation, has to end soon. One way or another. I can´t stand this pulling and rejection any longer.
Will not ad more to this. I am too tired to continue. It started too fast and I thought I was allowed to do it.
Talk about spoiled X-mas. Glad I was not supposed to go to my daughter and grandkids.
2007-12-15
Mirror
the way you did the imagining your self in a mirror will not do it.
Imagine your self imagining, that's all, nothing more nothing less. Tell me what does or does not happen with that.
.***************************071215
had to sit down in meditation position to try. I could not do it!
I can´t imagine myself imagining. As soon as I tried it is no longer “only me”. I invented a copy of me this time and tried to make it imagine. There is “me” and the copy. A fantasy starts.
.*************************************071215
Right, mind went blank for a while, but I did not really get frustrated, as the mind almost emedietly started to invent things to try to solve the problem. It was later it recognized it IS impossible. Your question made me doubt what I knew.
The past days my mind has been working on that. Beginning with those Tibetan books. I was not really joking when I wrote about narrowing it down to two sentences. Actually it also fits in with this “Imagine your self imagining” exercise.
When. long ago, people could not imagine what happened after death they started to imagine what happened then. Then the fantasy, what ever culture marks on it, started to fulfill itself. What one expected to happen, did. But as that IS a fantacy and some people knew that, they had to ad to the fantacy that it was not real. It is “YOU” and only you that you are aware of. And basicly that is some energies. Now energies and colors (colors is different wavelenghts) is also described. Funny how it coincides with the chakra system.
Some years ago I looked into healing systems. I noted that all of them was actually the same one just adjusted to each persons fantacy of how it works. That too was the color of the rainbow, as the chakra system. Rainbow colors are white light. So, all or it is White Light Energy. Then, in the nature I heal myself. Even if the power is not too great it works. Now you told me that all those things I notice and experience is Rigpa or the Absolute. Guess the Watcher and all of that also fits in there. Sometimes it is “my” fantasy, sometimes it is the fantasy of a higher power revealing itself back to me.
Two days ago when I biked home in the dark, a phrase popped up. “The Unified Law Of Everything”. Physics and spiritual alike. Both seeking the Combined Power to explain it all, that IS ALL.
I will work with the meditation.
Imagine your self imagining, that's all, nothing more nothing less. Tell me what does or does not happen with that.
.***************************071215
had to sit down in meditation position to try. I could not do it!
I can´t imagine myself imagining. As soon as I tried it is no longer “only me”. I invented a copy of me this time and tried to make it imagine. There is “me” and the copy. A fantasy starts.
.*************************************071215
Right, mind went blank for a while, but I did not really get frustrated, as the mind almost emedietly started to invent things to try to solve the problem. It was later it recognized it IS impossible. Your question made me doubt what I knew.
The past days my mind has been working on that. Beginning with those Tibetan books. I was not really joking when I wrote about narrowing it down to two sentences. Actually it also fits in with this “Imagine your self imagining” exercise.
When. long ago, people could not imagine what happened after death they started to imagine what happened then. Then the fantasy, what ever culture marks on it, started to fulfill itself. What one expected to happen, did. But as that IS a fantacy and some people knew that, they had to ad to the fantacy that it was not real. It is “YOU” and only you that you are aware of. And basicly that is some energies. Now energies and colors (colors is different wavelenghts) is also described. Funny how it coincides with the chakra system.
Some years ago I looked into healing systems. I noted that all of them was actually the same one just adjusted to each persons fantacy of how it works. That too was the color of the rainbow, as the chakra system. Rainbow colors are white light. So, all or it is White Light Energy. Then, in the nature I heal myself. Even if the power is not too great it works. Now you told me that all those things I notice and experience is Rigpa or the Absolute. Guess the Watcher and all of that also fits in there. Sometimes it is “my” fantasy, sometimes it is the fantasy of a higher power revealing itself back to me.
Two days ago when I biked home in the dark, a phrase popped up. “The Unified Law Of Everything”. Physics and spiritual alike. Both seeking the Combined Power to explain it all, that IS ALL.
I will work with the meditation.
2007-12-09
Imagine yourself imaging.
And what did that do to your mind? Stopped it for a min? That is the beginning of viewing rigpa.
Have yo ever been on one of your nature walks or in your cayak....and just rested where you were with no thoughts running thru your head except maybe in the background the mind mumbling nonesense barely heard? That is near rigpa. Have you ever had one of those moments...i think we all do....where you go into kinda of a trance for a few moments and stare at nothing and think of nothing tho you know what's going on around you? It's a pleasant feeling and happens to everyone occassionaly, and can happen anywhere. That is Rigpa. Some people call it "zoning out"
Yet when rigpa is uncovered that 'moment' becomes totaly present while one still functions, and it grows into deeper presence with further removal of obstructions.
This is the Absolute Aurora, the approach is different. The curtain of emotions and thinking that hides it is moved aside, thru method, and in time rigpa shines right thru that curtain without destroying it.
.****************************
lol, do you know what I did? I imagined seeing myself in the mirror imagening.
oh. dear! Why do you think I go out in nature? This is what I seek to rest my being when it is hard times. This is what I find in the forest and the lake. That which helps me heal. The reason why I am still sane. If I did not have that I would have been insane by now.
Some days when I am too upset I can´t open up to it, but other times the mere fact that I am entering the forest alone makes me drop it and open the senses to the forest or lake. It is too bad I can´t keep it that way.
Have yo ever been on one of your nature walks or in your cayak....and just rested where you were with no thoughts running thru your head except maybe in the background the mind mumbling nonesense barely heard? That is near rigpa. Have you ever had one of those moments...i think we all do....where you go into kinda of a trance for a few moments and stare at nothing and think of nothing tho you know what's going on around you? It's a pleasant feeling and happens to everyone occassionaly, and can happen anywhere. That is Rigpa. Some people call it "zoning out"
Yet when rigpa is uncovered that 'moment' becomes totaly present while one still functions, and it grows into deeper presence with further removal of obstructions.
This is the Absolute Aurora, the approach is different. The curtain of emotions and thinking that hides it is moved aside, thru method, and in time rigpa shines right thru that curtain without destroying it.
.****************************
lol, do you know what I did? I imagined seeing myself in the mirror imagening.
oh. dear! Why do you think I go out in nature? This is what I seek to rest my being when it is hard times. This is what I find in the forest and the lake. That which helps me heal. The reason why I am still sane. If I did not have that I would have been insane by now.
Some days when I am too upset I can´t open up to it, but other times the mere fact that I am entering the forest alone makes me drop it and open the senses to the forest or lake. It is too bad I can´t keep it that way.
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