2007-05-31

R Rose- Sexuality and the Transmutation of Energy

Richard Rose’s Psychology of the Observer:
The Path to Reality Through the Self
by John Kent

Chapter 11.
oh my…..you have to read it to believe it.

R Rose don´t see to have much to offer for a woman. Have read “man” throughout the paper and here he actually says that Rose has only little knowledge of women search. But he certainly know how to use woman to justify male sexuality. And there are a lot of stuff that, kind of, takes responsibility of the male for his sexuality. Even blaming “evil entities on a different plane of stealing sexual energy”. Thus luring the poor man to sexual intercourse, spoiling all chanses to join with “Truth”.

o my´…………….

Quotes:
it could be argued that female homosexuality is primarily a pathological
overreaction to male failure.

As has been explained, 99% of sex has nothing to do with sex, but is the desperate, futile grasping at some compensation for spiritual poverty.

“Sex is the plaything of (unhappy) animals (who are too tired to fight, or think). Chastity is the right of kings.”

The sexual ideal on the most concentrated, kamikaze phase of the path is chastity and an androgynous mind. Rose states the aim should be temporary, total abstinence from the conscious sex act; “temporary” meaning the number of years it takes to achieve one’s spiritual goal, and the rest of this key phrase simply meaning taking a deliberate vacation from the Nature-game to reside in a special grace period reserved for those who need the free space to seek Nature’s Master, and entrusting to the body that its own internal mechanism will regulate itself while in this neutral state, with no willful, ego intervention born of desire. He has on occasion tempered this ideal by saying that a moderate compromise with Nature is grudgingly allowable after some point of spiritual maturity and intuition has been reached.

He agrees with traditional yogic teachings in recommending moral sexual relations once a month within a committed relationship, if unavoidable or seemingly planned by fate, so long as it occurs without identification or psychological need. There is said to be some benefit to the woman in such an arrangement in supplementing her own vital energy, the energy dynamic involved in such natural sex being analogous to using a car battery with the engine running, which recharges it.
-------
in line with the Law of Progression, that there exist in another dimension, inter-penetrating our own visible one, something he will only call “entities”: beings of some intelligence and willfulness that are a part of Nature and who feed on the vital energy of humans
Furthermore, why would Nature—presumably designed by a Higher Intelligence—contain within it adverse forces that would thwart humanity from reconnecting with that Higher Intelligence?

The full truth of the matter to which the circumstantial evidence points will only become known when all is known.

Rose insists: “I know that there are entities and that they are as real as this physical dimension, and possibly equally as illusory in the final analysis”

2007-05-25

Fear of death

Still reading that paper about R Rose. The first chapters made me angry, now in chapter 9 I am so bored. First, the man writing the paper is comparing Rose with every other teacher he can find. It is like Roses teachings cant “stand on its own two legs”. If this teaching is truly pure, it need no comparisons to prove it is real. People who reads it or listen to it would know from inside if it is a true one.

Now they are talking about the body again. How many pages does it take to explain we normally think we are the body ? And, do people really believe that? So far there has been no talking about what I see as relevant. Do you define yourself as the body or as the mind? In this book it seems they like the body. I don´t think people define themselves as a body that much. This only feels like blablabla…to me. Can´t they stop talking and get down to business?

And the eternal question of DEATH. Is all this just a question of mind fearing death? I start to think so. Everywhere in this search it comes to eternal life and cheating death. What is The Absolute, the final Truth? Just a way of escaping “true death”? Mind/ego fooling itself to believe in eternal existence?


Oh my…………..why are they so damned afraid of death?

2007-05-18

Living forever

There is another thing I forgot in earlier posts.

Every teaching talks abut fear of death and longing for eternal existence. It is like all work is driven by the fear of death. And yet, the final goal of it is “nonexistense” and merging into awareness. So, this is one of those contradictions.

Never mind, back to me. I am not afraid of dying a physical AND mental death. I don´t want to exist forever. That seems disgusting to me. So, that is another reason why those teachings don´t appeal to me. Why should I work so hard to get something I don´t want? And feel guilty about it? But that is the human part of me speaking. As I am still on this path I guess the spiritual part thinks otherwise. The spiritual part is already eternal I guess, so that is no surprise.

But IMO there might even be different stages beyond the human experience. So, where and when does one die? The scientist in me likes to know that, wants to know how things work.

So science makes me interested. Spiritual teachings makes me mad. And this unknown partner of mine, pushes me onwards.


Hm, the human and the spirit, they are also One because sometimes they Work as one.

Duality in One.

Why do I want this?

Today I was asked why I wanted this. My friend read the blog and came up with this important question. Here is my answer to her.

But I don´t have to ask that question, why I want it! I know that. Thought you knew it too. It is not me, the human woman that wants it. It is my spirit half or some other force that pushes onward. I told you about this duality before I think. Aurora has no real interest in getting awakened. She has no reason to stay “alive” either. But that half is so tired of being involved in this struggle that somehow does not really concern her. And only wants it to be over and done with. And in that situation be told that one shall be determind and this and that, is to be accused for no reason. This past 11 months when I kept a low profile I had no dreams, no visions, no hits. It´s been calm. “Aurora” has been quite happy. But it seems like it will not stay put anymore.

I don´t know who is pushing to be honest, if it is soul, spirit or further up. It can´t be the watcher as that part is just watching. I did have those glimpses and dreams that indicates influences from “above”. But I don´t have the knowledge about who/what is the pusher. It is just “my companion”. We share this body.

Talking about these things is hard sometimes as explanations is different due to which part is speaking. Sometimes when we discuss I feel so clearly that both sides wants to give an explanation and then I got lost and can´t get it together. That is when I go mute. I simply don´t know what to write. Sometimes I wish I just had that ego and nothing else, what ever that famous ego is. This duality is tricky.


I don´t mind he is writing about the hardship. It is good. What I don´t like is that attitude that people HAS to go for it. And should feel guilty if not committed enough. In my case I can´t. I think they underestimate the force that moves people, they think it should be done purposely. I mean, the timeperiods I feel as I was in charge of it has been so short it is not really visible at all. I had/has no saying in this whatsoever.

2007-05-17

Crying is back



It´s been a calm 11 months and I have been as close to happiness as I think I can be. But now the crying is back. Not a hit so far, but crying. Think that grims and chips new search together with the Rose´s paper initiated it.

I am now certain of shich question I need to have answered. But that seem to be out of range. I have two options. Which one shall I chose?

All demands that Rose comes with just makes me angry. But the anger is not about the pain in itself. If there were a good reason for it I would stand it. But there seem to be no good reason.

NOBODY, and so far Rose too, has been able to tell me WHY this is important. Yes they say you have to work hard, have to stand a lot of pain, work for years to avoid traps. Bu subtle and cunning to get to some place they can´t even describe. And that place is never changing. So, all this suffering, as I see it, is in vain.

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SUFFERING AND PAIN AND TEARS IF THERE IS NO RESULT IN THAT WHICH I AM SUPPOSED TO BECOME? IF THAT IS NOT CHANGING, WHY DOES IT NEED ALL STRUGGLE AND PAIN? (and I don´t need any comment that says “it doesn´t”, that would piss me off)

If it is ever not changing, there should be no reason for this pain that is supposed to make us “grow” and come closer to and finally be absorbd by the Absolute. If there is no change in the Absolute we would not be here. There must be a reason for that pain and struggle.

The second piece I need answered is why they all dismiss the world? Motions in Awareness created us. How can they say nothing changes? It is impossible.

I am not sure I can finish that paper or continue this. Am I strong enough to go throu this again? I don´t know yet. The next couple of days will probably show me.

2007-05-16

Sitting here

Decided to have my breakfast in front of the computer. I decided that I should read the paper about Rose as soon as possible so I can concentrate on other things.

So far I have read about 70 pages out of about 350. And it just makes me uncomfortable. All those demands on determination, making woves and such, makes me in a bad mode. I don´t have that. It is not in my path. If that is a requirement…..why the hell am I here???????

Why can´t I go about it in such a way as grim does? He is like a kid looking for a new toy. Hoping to fine it every turn he makes. With so much expectations and gladness, so sure it will bring him “home”.

And then Steve made a comment to my blog (in the shortcut entry), saying that it might take only hours to learn “what we truly are”. And it is hard because we decided that it is. To be honest, it pissed me off. I can´t decide about things I am not aware of.

I started to read this paper, and I will, but I think it will take me off that path.So, I´ll finish it as soon as possible. Getting it overwith. Because, so far it has been nothing new, same old, same old, and I don´t expect any wonders. But, maybe I can be able to leave this.


Why does it make me feel guilty? It has done everything it can to make me hate it! And WHY do I have this damned feeling that I KNOW but still can´t penetrate the vail?

2007-05-13

God Is Evolving

Selfseeker started a thread in COT that I like. He wrote down some idéa he have. Think it is quite good actually. I have expressed the same idea, but he puts it out much better. :)

http://collectionofthoughts.com/bbpress/topic/287?replies=23

Deep Sleep 070513

My workout sessions on sunday mornings usually presents some thoughts. Nowadays I leave the computere on so I can go and make notes as thoughts arrives. The discussions of late is a big trigger to theorize.

We are dreaming every night. But mostly we forget about the dreams. There is a function that make us forget the dreams. I know there are researches on this, but for now I don´t have the source. Anyway, we all experienced that we dreamt but that morning rituals kicks in and make us forget what we dreamed. We know for certain that we dream each night. Even without memory of it. We have seen our mates, childrens and even pets move in sleep, indicating dreaming.

We also know that some dreams is ecpecially vivid. Never to be forgotten. There are also vivid dreams where you are aware that you dream and in some cases are able to control the dream. I don´t remember much dreams, but sometimes I have the feeling the dream is a message and is purposely made to be remembered.

We also have no feeling of discontinuation despite we sleep dreemlessly.

Now, awareness should be the cause of us not noticing any discontinuation. Awareness is there always, but is not made concious by the mind when it sleeps.

So, what is needed to be able to know that the Awareness is in contol and letting conciousness be aware of it? Not only when awake but also during sleep.

Among the OBE people (I think it was) I have read that they can train their ability to dream Vivid Dreams. And to remember them.

Is it then possible to train our body functions to let “the security level” drop so Awareness can “shine throu it” even when the body sleeps?

Or to take it the opposite way, can the Awareness overrule the body? Can it train the body to sleep when Awareness is still Aware and Consious? Consiousness is the important part as I see it, as that is what makes the mind remember.

Can you teach the mind to leave the door open for consiousness and awareness when body sleeps?

Consiousness is the link between Awareness and mind. When we sleep, conciousness also sleep, but not always. Actually, sometimes we are aware of our surroundings despite sleep. Can that be strengthened?

Which part is the key, awareness, conciousness or mind?

Ok, now I start babbling, soo …enough! Heading outdoors now,

Consciousness and Awareness 070512

Grim shared this with me:


http://buddhism.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=242880

Consciousness and Awareness Source: I AM THAT, Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Q: Coming back to sleep. Do you dream?
M: Of course.

Q: What are your dreams?
M: Echoes of the waking state.

Q: And your deep sleep?
M: The brain consciousness is suspended.

Q: Are you then unconscious?
M: Unconscious of my surroundings - yes.

Q: Not quite unconscious?
M: I remain aware that I am unconscious.

Q: You use the words 'aware' and 'conscious'. Are they not the same?
M: Awareness is primordial; it is the original state, beginningless, endless, uncaused, unsupported, without parts, without change. Consciousness is on contact, a reflection against a surface, a state of duality. There can be no consciousness without awareness, but there can be awareness without consciousness, as in deep sleep. Awareness is absolute, consciousness is relative to its content; consciousness is always of something. Consciousness is partial and changeful, awareness is total, changeless, calm and silent. And it is the common matrix of every experience.

Q: How does one go beyond consciousness into awareness?
M: Since it is awareness that makes consciousness possible, there is awareness in every state of consciousness. Therefore, the very consciousness of being conscious is already a movement in awareness. Interest in your stream of consciousness takes you to awareness. It is not a new state. It is at once recognized as the original, basic existence, which is life itself, and also love and joy.

In discussion with grim:
Aurora says:
and it correspond with my thought of awareness and conciousness
.
I think it should be possible to be aware when sleeping, but to stay in awareness is deeper still

2007-05-07

Shortcuts

Have to write this down, as I might need it later on, if I get too self-assured.

I am reading a paper that adresses Richard Roses teaching. And, once more, I make the same notion.

Why is it that every awakened master tries to find “shortcuts” for his/her disciples? It seem to be very common and I don´t understand it. Because they themselves were not able to follow another masters created shortcuts. Why do they believe others will be able to follow theirs?

I think it is very bad to create expectations of having an easier path. Because as I see it, there are no shortcuts. It is good that they try to explain what is to be excpected, think everyone needs that, but to tell us there is “easier ways” is to mislead us and make more obstacles on our path. Because we then get trapped in “this is how you go about it” and then you stumble. Only the Universe knows where and how to lead us through.

2007-05-02

Hurting

-When the body gets cut or smashed, the body hurts and then it heals rather fast.

-When the ego/mind gets hurt, it is bad. Like when one is mobbed. Can take a lot of time to heal, if ever.

-When both body and ego/mind is hurt, like when abused, it might never really heal. Can be so severe that suicide is concidered.

-If spirit/soul is hurt, that is among the worst things, because it is not visible. When the spirit is hurt, as when I had the “hits”, the body also hurts. When both hurts, it is really bad. It is your pain but nobody can understand it or see any reason for your suffering. And yet, the pain is very real both to the physical body as well as to spirit and mind. The suffering goes to all ascpects of your being. There is no defense against it. Takes a lot of time to recover.

-If ego/mind and soul are badly hurt then ………………..the entire system wants to go into oblivion. Never to be heard of again.

Perception

Sometimes Grim brings up “perception”. Here a snippet of a conversation:
grim: what is the choosing to eat the things you do?
grim: fun eh?
grim: what is the choosing to take the pictures you do?
Aurora: what does that have to do with the subject
grim: is that part of the Universe?
grim: ?
chip: Is it part of the perception?
grim: all i asked was WHAT is the choosing to take the pictures you do?
grim: is it, part of the Universe
grim: you said yes
grim: then, to go back to what i said
grim: The Universe also includes your apparent wanting
later:
chip: anyway...you understand what grim was saying?
Aurora: ya I know, I am just disturbed that I seem to be kept in the damned body all the time
chip: the body is necessary for enlightenment
Aurora: I feel like they hang stones on my feet and throw me in water, I can´t fly
chip: then swim
chip: There is something telling you you can't...
chip: you need to find what it is so you you can tell it you can!
Later:
Aurora: yesterday I realised why I don´t really want to work, or rather I did put it into words. I don´t like the collision between body and spirit. Demands of the body disturbes it.
chip: you seek solitude a good deal that is evident

And then they want me to go over the same stuff again. It is just that I don´t see “myself” as the body. The body is just a tool. Even if the tool mostly covers and hides its inhabitant. The inhabitant, the real me, is always there, listening, seeing, sugesting, needing, waiting. I always had this division. That what is the real “me” is that what is not visible, but more real then the body and it´s senses. I see the body and the senses only as tools to gather information which the “real me” needs somehow. Why the body “wants” things is mostly biology. Other things like “why I am taking pics” is more a way of “wasting time” with something that, at least, feels like a bit good to do. It is not a spiritual “want” or even a human “want”, just something to do while waiting for the bomb to go off. If it does not, well, then I did not waste this life completely, as I did something that was quite nice and some others liked it too.


Yes, the body and it´s senses is also a part of the Universe which I worked hard to make others understand, you can´t separate them. But for now, the body feels irrelevant, I need it to let spirit come first and take command.

It is weird because right now both parts of me is trying to communicate this. Don´t know if it comes thru to anything understandable.

When it comes to the Sutra I was reading, as also some of what grim tries to work with me, I find it is a lot of things already dealt with, and a lot of things that is not needed. Why spend weeks dealing with something that is not relevant? That does not belong to what is “me”. The sutra talked so much philosophy that, that, is what I remember most. What was important became hidden.