This annoying feeling is strong today.
Why am I waiting? What am I waiting for?? Why does it make me nervous? I´ve been “waiting” since my middle 20:s. More or less but always waiting. Today it is strong. I almost expect some important being to call on my door and come visit for some important issue.
This waiting also get to my stomach, think I have mentioned that before. It is like when you are going away and are afraid to miss the train. What if I am out when that important visitor comes? And I can´t do anything about it, it lives it´s own life, sort of.
Maybe it is grim that causes this now. I´m excited to see where he goes. I have a feeling.......
2007-03-27
2007-03-23
Trapped in the biofilter & Photos
Happened to say that in a conversation with grim the other day. Something more has happened to him. Seems like he was pushed a bit further. I am happy about it.
Guess it is not all that wrong to say. Wanting to sneak out but getting nowhere.
Never mind!
About the photographic adventure I started up as a mean to keep myself busy and eventually earn a dollar or two. Can´t play Tetris for the next 25 years of my life and the money I get from unemployment insurance is getting smaller by the month. I have to build my life anew.
People often tells me they like my pictures and I am rather satiesfied with them. But when I uploaded some to those Stock-companies ALL my pics was refused. Bad light, too blurry, too much noise in them. Even one was mentioned to be “poor composition”.
Spent most of today with searching the net to find out why. I can see the problem with “noise”, I even have a program that can deal with it. But the rest! If I take a pic with sun reflecting in the water, it is supposed to be bright light in the glittering sparkles. They told me it was “lightening problems purple fringe and blown highlights or lenses flare.
Don´t they know how nature works? When I looked around in different sites there are NO pics like mine. They would be refused as “too much noise, film grain” and such. Most pics are clearly enhanced in PhotoShop or other programs. Very strong in colors. Not much natural about it. They look like you dropped the colorbox in them.
Well, am not giving up yet. Can spend a couple of days working on it. But I might end up making my own site if I like to show my stuff.
Guess it is not all that wrong to say. Wanting to sneak out but getting nowhere.
Never mind!
About the photographic adventure I started up as a mean to keep myself busy and eventually earn a dollar or two. Can´t play Tetris for the next 25 years of my life and the money I get from unemployment insurance is getting smaller by the month. I have to build my life anew.
People often tells me they like my pictures and I am rather satiesfied with them. But when I uploaded some to those Stock-companies ALL my pics was refused. Bad light, too blurry, too much noise in them. Even one was mentioned to be “poor composition”.
Spent most of today with searching the net to find out why. I can see the problem with “noise”, I even have a program that can deal with it. But the rest! If I take a pic with sun reflecting in the water, it is supposed to be bright light in the glittering sparkles. They told me it was “lightening problems purple fringe and blown highlights or lenses flare.
Don´t they know how nature works? When I looked around in different sites there are NO pics like mine. They would be refused as “too much noise, film grain” and such. Most pics are clearly enhanced in PhotoShop or other programs. Very strong in colors. Not much natural about it. They look like you dropped the colorbox in them.
Well, am not giving up yet. Can spend a couple of days working on it. But I might end up making my own site if I like to show my stuff.
2007-03-12
Spirituality vs Science
It might be that science is the next step to spirituality. There are so much people on the earth now. To live a simple life in touch with nature is almost impossible. I am lucky to live close to nature, but the number of people that never seen a forest is increasing every day. If people don´t know nature, it might be hard to truly understand things like healing and other spiritual things. The chinese medicine that in the past days took decades to learn, they now learn in a month. Do they understand it? I doubt it. We have seen that the higher aspects of some teachings corresponds very well with the present stage of physics. 
As chip once told me, her son said she was talking physics. We might need science to be able to continue our growth as a human race. I feel like I am in the middle, still understands (at least a little) both sides.
As chip once told me, her son said she was talking physics. We might need science to be able to continue our growth as a human race. I feel like I am in the middle, still understands (at least a little) both sides.The photo, took it 2 days ago. A grey boring day, but if you look, such beauty is to be found. For those lucky enough to have it around the corner.
2007-03-11
Was I wrong?
Saw a post from Asi on the collections today. It seemed as grims “work” with him might have been successful after all. If so, I was wrong about it then. Maybe it works for some people. Does not change for me though. I can´t do it that way. When I saw that post I got so frustrated. Why does everybody but me have nice things? In all those years I had 15 min of being in a state of wonder. 15 minutes of 10 years. Not much. But I have to tell grim to let me be. I can´t do it that way, if any way. I don´t trust it. If it smashes me once more I will not survive.
Talked to grim yesterday. Thought he might have been a bit hurt, but no, don´t seem so. If it had been Eddie he had banned me long ago. (As, in fact he did.)
Anyway, Was thinkin gof that “Neither” yesterday on my way to my parents. They talk about Truth, and Creation (Maya) and the Absolute. Are they the same? I don´t think so. I think it is:
Truth = Creation + The Absolute. Or like.. 0=+1-1
I see “Neither” as “not creation, not the Absolute. Then it leaves it open. A big questionmark??? Grim finally admitted that neither is the third way in “How do you know the Ultimate ?” thread.
quote 070209:
Aurora you said:"It is strange how you use "nither" and emediately come up with a third solution."Neither IS the third option, but when looking into it truthfully, then something else....
Can “Neither” stand alone? In dictionaries I looked at it can´t. So, if “Neither” is another way of saying “Truth”, then it needs the Absolute and The Creation as well.
OK, later, talked to grim for a long time. Maybe the problem is not what he does, but that it is done in an open forum, and I am sensitive to other peoples frustration as well as my own. He actually tries to understand what I am, how I work, but often you have to put him back on track when he gets astrayed. lol
Talked to grim yesterday. Thought he might have been a bit hurt, but no, don´t seem so. If it had been Eddie he had banned me long ago. (As, in fact he did.)
Anyway, Was thinkin gof that “Neither” yesterday on my way to my parents. They talk about Truth, and Creation (Maya) and the Absolute. Are they the same? I don´t think so. I think it is:
Truth = Creation + The Absolute. Or like.. 0=+1-1
I see “Neither” as “not creation, not the Absolute. Then it leaves it open. A big questionmark??? Grim finally admitted that neither is the third way in “How do you know the Ultimate ?” thread.
quote 070209:
Aurora you said:"It is strange how you use "nither" and emediately come up with a third solution."Neither IS the third option, but when looking into it truthfully, then something else....
Can “Neither” stand alone? In dictionaries I looked at it can´t. So, if “Neither” is another way of saying “Truth”, then it needs the Absolute and The Creation as well.
OK, later, talked to grim for a long time. Maybe the problem is not what he does, but that it is done in an open forum, and I am sensitive to other peoples frustration as well as my own. He actually tries to understand what I am, how I work, but often you have to put him back on track when he gets astrayed. lol
2007-03-08
Mist
Nothing, a little or to much. What a difference it makes.
-When there is no mist, then vision is clear.
-When there is too much mist, then there is no sight whatsoever. Like being blind.
-The magic comes when there is a little mist drifting among the trees and over water. Beautiful, mysterious nature. Where dreams is woven, where sacred things takes place, when the border between real and unreal is wiped out. When nature becomes silent.
I remember that day in Hawaii when the clouds lifted and formed a window where I, for a brief moment, could see “Shangri La”.
Bought myself that digital camera. Was lucky to have a day with mist. Enjoy!
-When there is no mist, then vision is clear.
-When there is too much mist, then there is no sight whatsoever. Like being blind.
-The magic comes when there is a little mist drifting among the trees and over water. Beautiful, mysterious nature. Where dreams is woven, where sacred things takes place, when the border between real and unreal is wiped out. When nature becomes silent.
I remember that day in Hawaii when the clouds lifted and formed a window where I, for a brief moment, could see “Shangri La”.
Bought myself that digital camera. Was lucky to have a day with mist. Enjoy!
2007-03-04
Crap
Been writing the below notes as a respond to two threads in Collections. But then, why the h-l shall I “teach” awakened people. Why do I have this urge to do this? It is NOT my business.
If awakening don´t produce individuals that are sensitive to others, what the hell are they good for? I can think of nothing else then it is the A that pushes me, bothers me, gives me idéas. And it pisses me off. If it wants “my” services they are welcome to take possession of this body. Don´t bother me. Think I shall buy that camera and start some serious photographing. Found a site where you can ad your photos and get a little pay when somebody downloads them. Worth a try maybe, and would keep mind of the spiritual crap.
If awakening don´t produce individuals that are sensitive to others, what the hell are they good for? I can think of nothing else then it is the A that pushes me, bothers me, gives me idéas. And it pisses me off. If it wants “my” services they are welcome to take possession of this body. Don´t bother me. Think I shall buy that camera and start some serious photographing. Found a site where you can ad your photos and get a little pay when somebody downloads them. Worth a try maybe, and would keep mind of the spiritual crap.
Saw my daughter and granddaughter on the internet right now, playing rugby. 
_________________________________________________________
the thought that appeared:
Response to what grim assumed: you thought I was refering to all your posts, but I wasn´t. I saw, and felt (I know, not 100% reliable), AsI:s and no-1:s responses. Then I reacted to that. They seemed to wonder why you were never satisfied.
Am in the middle of working out (as in wheightlifting) and this subject on y mind, now I am getting angry, not at you grim, at the Absolute. I might ad something more on the blog later, but this will do for now.
ej på collection.
have been thinking if this should be taken off forum or in here, but you said ELABORATE so, what the heck.
noted:
*chip thought it to be a koan-discussion
but with a koan then u try to understand ONE koan not every single word ro reaction along the line,
*selfseeker said that it is a well established techniqe used by spiritual teachers.
but they sit in ashrams when student has time to think and ponder. I doubt that they are given 20 questions a day.
Grim, you ask too many questions, people has no time to let it sink and do its work. They don´t even know Your status or motives for doing it. I think they have the right to know.
When working with this neti-neti I understand that one takes ONE question and follow it as far down the line as possible. Not working with20 at the same time. And, grim, you jump at everything you see. I saw both no-1-awakens and AsI express doubts on what is going on. I know that when I get everything I say slapt in my face I stop talk and shout down. I think they are at that point.
You also must consider that people might not have time to think throu things. Often a response might be made between work and fetching kids and put them to sleep. A quick response is easily forgotten.
ändra!
I know you refered to what I said in privat, that your name is everywhere. Yes, you still do that. Turning every thread into a single topic. Getting on the way to the Absolute. But when people starts a topic it might be what they want to discuss. Know that people is different, everyone is not meant to go all the way. When you spoil their topic they leave. Remember our fights in the past??
why am I even bothering? So far nobody even managed to convince me that it is important. Shit!!
the thought that appeared:
Response to what grim assumed: you thought I was refering to all your posts, but I wasn´t. I saw, and felt (I know, not 100% reliable), AsI:s and no-1:s responses. Then I reacted to that. They seemed to wonder why you were never satisfied.
Am in the middle of working out (as in wheightlifting) and this subject on y mind, now I am getting angry, not at you grim, at the Absolute. I might ad something more on the blog later, but this will do for now.
ej på collection.
have been thinking if this should be taken off forum or in here, but you said ELABORATE so, what the heck.
noted:
*chip thought it to be a koan-discussion
but with a koan then u try to understand ONE koan not every single word ro reaction along the line,
*selfseeker said that it is a well established techniqe used by spiritual teachers.
but they sit in ashrams when student has time to think and ponder. I doubt that they are given 20 questions a day.
Grim, you ask too many questions, people has no time to let it sink and do its work. They don´t even know Your status or motives for doing it. I think they have the right to know.
When working with this neti-neti I understand that one takes ONE question and follow it as far down the line as possible. Not working with20 at the same time. And, grim, you jump at everything you see. I saw both no-1-awakens and AsI express doubts on what is going on. I know that when I get everything I say slapt in my face I stop talk and shout down. I think they are at that point.
You also must consider that people might not have time to think throu things. Often a response might be made between work and fetching kids and put them to sleep. A quick response is easily forgotten.
ändra!
I know you refered to what I said in privat, that your name is everywhere. Yes, you still do that. Turning every thread into a single topic. Getting on the way to the Absolute. But when people starts a topic it might be what they want to discuss. Know that people is different, everyone is not meant to go all the way. When you spoil their topic they leave. Remember our fights in the past??
why am I even bothering? So far nobody even managed to convince me that it is important. Shit!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
