Now I know why I always done EVERYTHING to heal myself. I can´t stand it. I can´t live like this and now there are nowhere where I can seek peace and tranquility for my sour heart and mind. How long can I make it? Long enough for my dad to die so he don´t become upset because of that?I don´t know!
.***********************
It is like I am in a vacuum. Doing things without careing. Not even the anger upsets me anymore, when stuff don´t work even if they are supposed to. The pain covers it all. It is like a thick blanket covering every inch of me. Am leaving for Venice tomorrow but don´t feel much exitement. The only thing I look forward too is the posibility to hear the ocean once again. Maybe the last time.
Who knows? I started this blog because it seem to be so hard to get some understanding when spiritual gets tough. And when NOTHING works. When spiritual sucks and you don´t know why. And can´t do anything about it. Maybe this work will take me to the end of the road.
If you expect joy, bliss and answers. Forget it, this is not the place. This is a warning, it´s not all that fun. The image has the EyeofHorus & PelesTears from Hawaii.
A never ending story.
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