Dream:
This was a kind of war dream. Ingemar (one of my troubles) was a teamleader in the dream to defeat the obstacles. No demanding attraction left. Just a teamleader. I found it strange. The dream was a mish-mash with no structure. Think the point was to show Ingemar as the teamleader that should help me fight the war. To show another side of that individual. That his role in my life was the role of obstacle, and now that part is over and the true nature is revealed. Well, suspected that. So, are the universe revealing what it does? What really happened, to earn the respect? To make me trust it? Too early for that yet.
The men
It has always been like I should love them so THEY get happy satisfied or wahtever. They always acted like they demand something and I can´t give as long as they demand it. That is why I always cursed the absolute because I have to go there on my own wish, not on demand. As I see it it is the calm periods when I go on my own that is the most fruitful. As soon as there are stupid messages or pushes I revolt. Why am I not allowed to do this my own way? You dan´t force somebody to love you. Love and respect has to be earned.
2007-09-30
2007-09-16
The theatre idéa
the human way: you say the canvas is real because it is solid matter, a wall, and the IMAGE unreal as it is not the humans themselves that are there it is only their projections.
the absolute way gives the opposite effect:
If you suggest that the Absolute is the Canvas and thus “real” and the images, US (the solid matter part), “unreal” you have a problem. The Canvas is unable to produce the images and so you need to ad a creator of the images.
It, the Absolute, is the object photographed. It is the photographer. It is the camera capturing the image. It is the camera projecting the image. It is every foton leaving the camera to project the image on the screen.The image is real as an image. It is every set of fotons leaving the screen to the eyes of everyone in the audience (lol, One becoming many). Every part is real. There is nothing “unreal” about it.
There are a lot of pics on my photoblog. They are not “real” photos. In the world of computers they are only a number of 0:s and 1:s. Still you can copy it, print it and put it on the wall. Every step is “real”.
The Absolute is all of it, or it is not the Absolute.
Inititated from a COT thread
the absolute way gives the opposite effect:
If you suggest that the Absolute is the Canvas and thus “real” and the images, US (the solid matter part), “unreal” you have a problem. The Canvas is unable to produce the images and so you need to ad a creator of the images.
It, the Absolute, is the object photographed. It is the photographer. It is the camera capturing the image. It is the camera projecting the image. It is every foton leaving the camera to project the image on the screen.The image is real as an image. It is every set of fotons leaving the screen to the eyes of everyone in the audience (lol, One becoming many). Every part is real. There is nothing “unreal” about it.
There are a lot of pics on my photoblog. They are not “real” photos. In the world of computers they are only a number of 0:s and 1:s. Still you can copy it, print it and put it on the wall. Every step is “real”.
The Absolute is all of it, or it is not the Absolute.
Inititated from a COT thread
2007-09-11
Flow of life
Went to my parents this afternoon. Found my mum in a very bad condition. She has no strenght left and are crying a lot. She just want to die now. Everything is just hard work for her. My dad visited the bank today to get some papers that will allow me to withdraw money from their account. So, this is the beginning of handing over their economy to me.
I felt as I am “standing” still with life flowing around me. I have this feeling of warmth for her, but it is like I am only watching from aside. I don´t “have” the emotions, I just play them out. Don´t think she notice the difference anyway.
This happens a lot nowadays, being centered with life flowing past me. Somehow like that trainvision I had when I took care of J&M a couple of years ago. When I was watching my life going on outside the train windows.
Mother expeience
When i got there today my mother (she is 85 yrs) was angry. I took her and led her to her chair. I was kneeling and holding her arms. She was crying and struggling. Then I somehow is “centered” My mother and I was united partly, like siamese twins. Then I felt a package of “love”, sort of, being sent from "my" body to "hers". And she relaxed. But “I” am just watching everything happening. I got confused somehow because I am not sure who we are. If we are separate or a unit. I also sense very clearly my dad being there. Watching and a part of it. (He WAS sitting in a chair in the room).
And this is my daughters birthday.
I felt as I am “standing” still with life flowing around me. I have this feeling of warmth for her, but it is like I am only watching from aside. I don´t “have” the emotions, I just play them out. Don´t think she notice the difference anyway.
This happens a lot nowadays, being centered with life flowing past me. Somehow like that trainvision I had when I took care of J&M a couple of years ago. When I was watching my life going on outside the train windows.
Mother expeience
When i got there today my mother (she is 85 yrs) was angry. I took her and led her to her chair. I was kneeling and holding her arms. She was crying and struggling. Then I somehow is “centered” My mother and I was united partly, like siamese twins. Then I felt a package of “love”, sort of, being sent from "my" body to "hers". And she relaxed. But “I” am just watching everything happening. I got confused somehow because I am not sure who we are. If we are separate or a unit. I also sense very clearly my dad being there. Watching and a part of it. (He WAS sitting in a chair in the room).
And this is my daughters birthday.
2007-09-04
why is it needed?
There is one thing that never been cleared.
What is the reason for this transformation? Why are we forced to go throu all these works and suffering in order to awaken?
Who benefits on that? And why is it needed?
-According to Rose it is “dangerous” not to want it is considered to be spiritual immature. But from that paper I read he does not mention why it is so damn important.
-Bunnie says that it is really no big deal. Talked about the methafor “mountin, no mountin again a mountain. What changes is that you never again get attached to the world. (if I understood it) so the world is real but not a nessessery.
But there has to be a reason for this kind of work. If there was just the ascension that some talk about, that could be taken care of with evolusion. Genes and stuff. Why is this kind of work so important? What benefits comes from that, and to whom? Why play this game with religions, dark nights and hitting my head and make me cry because they hurt my heart and eyes.
Why is the spiritual work so important they spoil my human life? I have found no reason for it.
What lies beyond all this? Why this way?
070904 evening
There must be a reason for why it´s done this way. I don´t buy what I´ve been told so far. To go throu all this trouble only because a change in perception? It does not make sense. There must be another agenda. There´s no way it can be worth all that pain.
When it comes to teens changing is due to hormones, does not seem to be in this case. So that is outruled.
Was thinking of looking into that lightworker stuff, but only to think of archeangels and ascensions and spiritual wars makes me VERY tired. Wonder why everyone is at war. :(
What is the reason for this transformation? Why are we forced to go throu all these works and suffering in order to awaken?
Who benefits on that? And why is it needed?
-According to Rose it is “dangerous” not to want it is considered to be spiritual immature. But from that paper I read he does not mention why it is so damn important.
-Bunnie says that it is really no big deal. Talked about the methafor “mountin, no mountin again a mountain. What changes is that you never again get attached to the world. (if I understood it) so the world is real but not a nessessery.
But there has to be a reason for this kind of work. If there was just the ascension that some talk about, that could be taken care of with evolusion. Genes and stuff. Why is this kind of work so important? What benefits comes from that, and to whom? Why play this game with religions, dark nights and hitting my head and make me cry because they hurt my heart and eyes.
Why is the spiritual work so important they spoil my human life? I have found no reason for it.
What lies beyond all this? Why this way?
070904 evening
There must be a reason for why it´s done this way. I don´t buy what I´ve been told so far. To go throu all this trouble only because a change in perception? It does not make sense. There must be another agenda. There´s no way it can be worth all that pain.
When it comes to teens changing is due to hormones, does not seem to be in this case. So that is outruled.
Was thinking of looking into that lightworker stuff, but only to think of archeangels and ascensions and spiritual wars makes me VERY tired. Wonder why everyone is at war. :(
2007-09-01
Dream building
Dream:
I was at some work, newly moved into that area, puters place too high and such. Did not bother until some boss came in. That boss had a big stomach with some vadded stuff around. Said it would keep the back straight. When it was time to go home I looked for what means there was. There should go a bus. Took my stuff, including the dinner I prepared for my parents. Somehow I “messed up” the path to the bus and it was long gone when I got there. Fine with me and I went inside again.
Next part is searching for an exit, seemed I could not stay in the building. Still carrying the food, a small package, I walked around partly uninterested. Somebody was following me. Went throu some narrow passages, then came to some vertical round passage with an opening above. I turned back and asked if that was the way out? There seemed to be a yes as answer. I looked up, the tunnel was lit, hesitated for a moment, then turned back and went into the building again.
yeah, this is how they trick you, curse them! this is perfectly clear! Messages in dreams that means nothing.
after reading a letter from chip I realised that when I went back I no longer carried anything.
the last part reminded of the “old farm” dream when I went up the narrow warn-out stairs.
Chip:
Those dreams you described, tubes are narrow and straight, they are a direct conduit to the end, there is room only for you, not for anything you carry. The room at the top is empty Monica, because it is EMPTY, nothing is brought with you.
till c 070902
I am calmer today even if I still have a towel on my pillow at night. It tends to get wet for some mysterious reason. This morning I had a feeling that this is a battle on a different level. There is nothing you can do except being a friend.
I was at some work, newly moved into that area, puters place too high and such. Did not bother until some boss came in. That boss had a big stomach with some vadded stuff around. Said it would keep the back straight. When it was time to go home I looked for what means there was. There should go a bus. Took my stuff, including the dinner I prepared for my parents. Somehow I “messed up” the path to the bus and it was long gone when I got there. Fine with me and I went inside again.
Next part is searching for an exit, seemed I could not stay in the building. Still carrying the food, a small package, I walked around partly uninterested. Somebody was following me. Went throu some narrow passages, then came to some vertical round passage with an opening above. I turned back and asked if that was the way out? There seemed to be a yes as answer. I looked up, the tunnel was lit, hesitated for a moment, then turned back and went into the building again.
yeah, this is how they trick you, curse them! this is perfectly clear! Messages in dreams that means nothing.
after reading a letter from chip I realised that when I went back I no longer carried anything.
the last part reminded of the “old farm” dream when I went up the narrow warn-out stairs.
Chip:
Those dreams you described, tubes are narrow and straight, they are a direct conduit to the end, there is room only for you, not for anything you carry. The room at the top is empty Monica, because it is EMPTY, nothing is brought with you.
till c 070902
I am calmer today even if I still have a towel on my pillow at night. It tends to get wet for some mysterious reason. This morning I had a feeling that this is a battle on a different level. There is nothing you can do except being a friend.
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