Knowledge

To gather knowledge is a peculier thing, and I think I do it in a peculier way. The other day I realized what I do. And always have done. Or, rather, it became clear. And that is the reason why I never remember names, designations or details. What I get is an understanding of how things works, but I can almost never explain it properly unless I learn it consciously.

What I do when I read scientific papers or watch programs on TV is that I kind of open a door inside myself. Then I let the article or program reside in there and I let the subconscious determine wether what I see or read is true and how it works. If it seems untrue or false, I leave it, if it seems uncertain I leave it for further information before it becomes “true” for me. What comes out is an understanding but the details it is based upon is mostly not remembered.

A strange way, I know, but that is how I work. And that is why I almost never can explain things in a scientific way, only how I feel it works. Also, when an understaning is reached, it rarely changes. Guess that is also why I never could join any religion. They just don´t ring true. Too much uncertainty and false assumptions.

Anthill

In my new location I found this anthill. I could finally take a photo of it. It was too dark in that forest without the snow.

This anthill is about my hight, that would be about 164 cm or 63 inches. The ant living there are about 8mm long. They build the hill with fir and pine needles. Think of it, how many needles is needed for that hill? An amazing work I´d say.

Now, this hill seems pretty solid don´t it? But looking inside we will see that there is merely empty space. But that empty space is filled with moving objects. The moving objects is life creating life in an endless row. They seem to be separate individuals, yet they are One life.

The needles forming the hill is leaning to each others in a pattern known only to the moving objects of the hill. They are separate needles, yet depending on the other to form the One hill. The lifeformes of the hill needs the hill to survive. The hill needs the lifeforms to be there. Both the lifeforms and the hill need the surrounding forest for its survival.

What is seemingly separate individuals is totally dependant of, and linked to, all others, ants, needles and forest. Without the total there is no individual. Without the individual there is no Total. All linked together as One.

Just had some fun with it to show the anthill

Some snippets..

..from threads in Collections. Just to remember what I wrote.

decides on what level something is "real"? Is there really a thing like "silent shockwave"?? I´d say NO! There is "shockwave" percieved as "sound".
A shockwave is created by moving objects in matter. It is percieved as "sound" by the brain as a function to help us in our environment. It can also be felt as a pressure on my skin. The fenomenon that creates a "sound" in my brain is there whether my brain "hears" it or not.


Silence is a construction of the mind as much as sound is. There are neither sounds or silence. Senses is also needed to experience silence.

Nonappearance is as much illusion as appearance!



the paper/point analogy rewritten again, simplified:

There are no relationships! The Universe liked to see itself as a sheet and a dot. So it created it. To be able to see the creation and be aware of it, it also created eye and mind. All is made of the Universe so any relationships do not exist. It is still, the Universe! Only the limited mind sees it differently, as being two things related. The Universe seems to be a shapeshifter!

And (now I actually believe something), I think science will not stop until they have that knowledge.

Mystic biology

A recent thread at Collections made me wonder why people makes mysticism of simple biology and physics. Things you learn in school becomes a great mystery. Strange!! Is that spirituallity? To screw up everyday knowledge?

Wallet back

I got my wallet back yesterday. Nothing lost.

Work…..friday I arranged with my boss that we should end this and make the finishing paperwork on monday. Then he called me saturday morning. “Can you work all week and maybe longer” he asked. Suddenly one costumer called and wanted some work done.

I was about to end it!!!!!!!!!!! Now I have to continue. I certainly hope this new thing is better prepared. If I get another mess I don’t know what I do.

Thanks chip and littlecloud for replying to the previous post. Anonymous, your post almost was deleted. “Anonymous” mostly post ads of a questionabe nature (viagra) and I remove them.

Chip, the giveaway, it is not the same thing really. He knew he had all he needed to sustain him. Even if he had no possessings. He just needed a reminder, and so did his people. To me it was a comfirmation on an old thought. Natives are never “poor” until “civilization” puts them in shelters in poor suburbes.

I fairly quickly remembered that I had the passport I could use for ID, so things would have worked out even if the wallet did not return.

Now there is work. I´ll be pretty occupied. And, I have no wish to go “further”. If I have to put up with this shit for years and years without ……………………..never mind.

What the h-l is “further” anyway? “Further” in relation to what?? In what direction? Is it like standing on the northpole? You can only go south. It is like Grims “neither”. Neither needs three things. None of these has any meaning! It is just words made of letters, it´s only purpose is confusion.

BS, I want my life back

Ok, now I had it…..again!

I have to put an end to this. I have to get my life back!

The past years my mind has been clogged, occupied with spirit stuff. I have been spiritually abused. I am so full of this that I hardly function anymore. Month after month, year after year. A never ending story. And never any relief.

I forget to pay bills. I ignore things. I have left my family. I never had any problems with paying bills before. Why the past years.

Yesterday my boss called. He had an “emergency”. I have not worked in 11 weeks. Now all of a sudden there was something I had to help out with, can I come tomorrow morning? he said. OK, I will go fix tickets for the train so pick me up at the station, I said.

I biked downtown, went into the station and bought tickets. There was a lot of people so I gathered the tickets and my wallet and sat down to check that it was correct. Then left.

This morning when I took the tickets out, on the train, I realised I had no wallet. It was gone. Money, cards, drivers license. All in there, just gone. After arriving to work, I tried to call the station, but nowadays it is impossible. You just come to some digital telephone. So, I had to call and block the cards for further use.

Coming home I tried to go online to the bank and order a new creditcard. What happen? System offline. So, here I am. No money, no ID, no cards. I can´t even buy food.

Also, this winter, this morning, the first time I go back to work, there is snow falling. Bikeing hazardous as it was icy. And the work I was supposed to do, a mess! No proper data to work with, actually, no data at all, just a simple sketch. They had delayd this work for 4 months and comes up with nothing to work with at all. Yet they want results. I told my boss he should not have agreed to this. And that people leaving that bad data to work with should be ashamed.

Now, if this is another “shitten test” I don´t want to play any more. If the universe think this is funny, I strongly disagree. Am I acting childish? Maybe, so what?

I want my life back! I am not going to write any more BS on this blog. It is not interesting and noone but chip reads it anyway.

Hanta Yo, giveaway

Ahbleza has given away everything he own to start anew, even his cloths. And that was in wintertime. To know what it is to be “naked”. The meaning of life. Later he tells his brother-friend (p 712) :

“I go naked, yet I learn nothing about suffering; instead I discover the true meaning of the giveaway.
I experience that which appears humbling; instead I discover the greatness of my pride. “


He did not suffer as he had the skills to find shelter and food. He discovered the meaning of giveaway as he soon was given a lot back. The fact that he had the skills to support himself made him not feel humbled. As I understand it, he did not feel like a poor person even if he owned nothing.

Someone asked why we post on Forums

It seems to be true what nameless is hinting to. From physics we learn that there don´t seem to be anything like “free will” everything is already settled. But that was not really what was on my mind.

When InterNet was created a lot of things changed. Earlier you had to go to churches or other beliefsystems to get answers to your questions. In every culture there was authoritis telling people what is true. No matter how hard to believe. You had to believe a certain way or you be banished or punished.

Like InfiniteRose I too have a problem with that. Nowadays with the internet we are all free to search for ourselfs. We don´t have to believe what some preast in the village tells you. We are entitled to think for ourselves. We can take and pick what ever seems right to us.

Actually I think that this is a major change. We are changing from authority to being selfdependent. From being told to think for oneself. We all seek our own truth, which I think will be the same in the end.

Dogmas did not evolve the people. Maybe individual search will. What we will find is genuin, Not banged into the head. I think that this is the reason why we post and debate.

Paintings on the wall

Have been putting up paintings and photos on the walls this week. Also led to some strange thoughts.

Hanging them on the wall somehow made things look crowded again. The being trapped feeling coming back. How come that it is a difference having things in a box and actually seeing them on a wall? I have them both ways. Just in one occation they are displayed, in the other not.

Made me think of my appartment too. I had no visits in the appartment. Then, does it matter if I decorate it or not? If I am the only person to see it, does it exist? Do I exist if I have no connections with other people? This is like Schrödingers cat. If I and my appartment does not exist, why do I have to eat and why does my appartment gets dusty?
I seem to be in some kind of “no mans land” or “in between” somehow. Still have the habits of the old but getting annoyed about it. I realised that half of my belongings and doings was/is due to other people. For having guests. Being social. Expectations from relatives and collegues.

Work Team Dream 070104

Was in the old office at Scania. The office as it was some 30 years back. A lot of people gathering there. I was wondering why we were there. I knew almost everyone. We all had aged. There was also my old boss, now dead 20 years. One man throw himself around my neck told me how pleased he was seeing me. I did remember him being a young man, his first job after school. Then we was told the reason for us being there. We were supposed to design a new Scania truck. We were the people designing the last most successful truck, so now we should make a new one. What puzzled me was that we all aged. Some looked senile. How were we to design a new wonder-truck? But then, l was getting restless, why not start it? What are we waiting for? Starting to arrange workplaces and peoples ready for business.

Hidden Secrets

How I hate them!

Have been thinking a bit of all mysterious secrets all over the place. Starting this time, I guess, with Jed McKennas obsession with the interpretation on Moby Dick.

In all ages there has been Mysterie-schools of different kinds. Schools were a selected few are allowed to study the spiritual secrets of the world. I think it is found everywhere in different forms. Yet the same secret.

What I wonder is why it is secrets? Why did some “truths” have to be hidden. People have acted as if it was dangerous to know about certain “truths”. I find it strange as, from what I have learnt the past years there is nothing to hide. And, certainly, nothing to have to hide in riddles. So, the question for today is: why all those secrets? Why hide “wisdom” so hard that you can´t find it? What is the purpose of that? Why does it take an awakened person to interpret what Moby Dick was all about? Why hide the message so hard that nobody but one person understood it? What is the danger that makes people hide things? Or is it only that “normal” people should not ridicule the awakened one? They want to tell the story, but don´t dare doing it? They could as well have written it in plain words. Not many whould understand it anyway. But maybe it then would be not that exciting a story.

The old schools, maybe, the same. But what for? There is no danger in the messages as far as I can see. The ones not ready don´t understand it anyway. They can´t. That makes me think that it is actually the ridicule thing that makes them gather in secret schools. Makes them safe too and feeling selected and important. Being special. Creating rituals that distance them from “the people”. Being looked up to. Gives power too.

Seems like it is a egothing!