Merry-go-round

Think I have been on this topic many times now. Don´t remember if I already wrote it or not, but don´t bother too check it right now.

All of this is quite hilarious. I mean, first, life make a big deal of presenting us with egos and personalities. For years it is shaping them. Making them strong and viable. To deal with everything that comes in your way in life.

Then, all of a sudden, you are pushed like hell to dismantle the whole concept you just created. Spending as many years to dismantle it as you (or life, god or whatever you whish) did creating it. Going out of your mind. Close to insanity.

That is why I call this a game, and make someone pissed off. But truly, I can, still, not see any of value in this.

I spent soo many years now, just trying to survive. Trying not to go mad. With various results. One suicide attempt among that. Whatever I think I am, as long as I am in this body I don´t want to end up mad. What good is awakening if you are crazy? Or have altzheimers? Spend your days in hospice? If you are crazy and don´t know what you are, there is no need for awakening. So, am still asking, why the hell this game??????????????????????????????

If the universe need us awaken, there should not be any egos created in the fist place.

There is something wrong about it. (not the first time either) Round and roundI go for eternity. Never ends.