empty .......... dying

There have been a lot of incidents of late. First Ray´s many questions then a few people on swedish bloggs. Wolf Mother Earth one of them. A young woman I had to warn.

I am so tired of fighting it. I am so tired of living this pointless life. But I can´t go back. Go back to what? I can never go back to reading or meditating again. Can´t go back to hope for a wonderful transition. There is no hope left, no belifes for good things. It makes no difference in what way they try to approach me again. I can´t go back.

But I loose the grip, have been keeping myself occupied with photography and bloggs, but it grows tiersome too. Family is expecting attention. And I just find it annoying. It is so empty. Pretending is all I do. Pretending having a good life while the soul is dying.

Dying……….