Where do I belong?

The past three weeks I have worked with a new blog. A nature and photo blog. What else? This is a swedish one and it has taken rather much time. I wanted to write exclusively about nature and photo. No human troubles or religious stuff. Wanted to make it an oasis for people to visit and just enjoy.

Well, this is a blog community that one of our newspapers provide. So, looking around, and to make my blog known , I visited some blogs. Already after three weeks I am tired to death. This is why I withdrew a couple of year ago. The same issues, the same problems. The meaner the better. There are a few nice ones of course. But it seems, still, that people just loves to misunderstand each other. The "under the belt" blogs draws a lot of attention. And the subject "nature" is not even on the list.

I´ve already been through all that stuff. Have no wish to repeat it. Even if I have the experience to help out here and there they will not listen. Or, my voice is drowning in the crowd. It makes me sick to read about everything knowing I can´t do a shit about it. There will be no change, everybody trapped in their own situation.

Can´t be there, can´t be in spiritual community either. Spiritworld saw to that. In between! Belonging nowhere. That´s me.

Went thro the rainy forest yesterday. When the forest is wet it becomes so clear. It is like you can see every detail that you normally don´t. You can see the details as clear as the whole. My mind should be that clear, seeing everything, the whole, be able to see the atoms in the body, see the tiny forming the big things. Everything, being one. Shapes forming and disappering. Constant movement. Knowing everything. That is what my mind should be. Not "in between". Mind open, allknowing.