Was in a forest today looking for mushrooms. Spent a very nice time in there. Until……….the forst started to wisper….join me, link your mind with mine. Tears started to come but I pressed it back. Am not going t cry.
Earlier when this happened I usually found a good stump to sit on, then entered meditation. The me/forest was the only thing existing.
Today I closed, bit my tounge and left the forest. Heart crying, but I can´t risk being beaten again.
2008-09-22
2008-09-18
Chip
I miss you, but the one I miss is the one you were before awakening. There was a lot of fun then. Since then we headed in opposite directions.
Bird watch
Last saturday I attended a birdwatch event. First time for me on such a fieldtrip. (funny, now I have a hard time writing in english, getting used to the swedish blogs)
We were 6 people going to Lake Kvismare Bird Observatory. I had a great time but that was not what I was going to write about. I have that in swedish blogs.
After I got back home looking through the images I realised one thing. For 6 h I had 5 people around me that I never met before. 1 woman, 4 men. I had moved among them as if they had been ONE person. Bet that is how bees work. This group, from my point, had acted and moved as one unit in a way I have not encountered before. Strange!
We were 6 people going to Lake Kvismare Bird Observatory. I had a great time but that was not what I was going to write about. I have that in swedish blogs.
After I got back home looking through the images I realised one thing. For 6 h I had 5 people around me that I never met before. 1 woman, 4 men. I had moved among them as if they had been ONE person. Bet that is how bees work. This group, from my point, had acted and moved as one unit in a way I have not encountered before. Strange!
2008-09-14
On the door
The doorbell rang. Open the door. Outside is a couple, middleage. I spot the bible in the mans hand.
No damned bible here..........I say...........slamming the door shut.
No damned bible here..........I say...........slamming the door shut.
2008-09-09
Where do I belong?
The past three weeks I have worked with a new blog. A nature and photo blog. What else? This is a swedish one and it has taken rather much time. I wanted to write exclusively about nature and photo. No human troubles or religious stuff. Wanted to make it an oasis for people to visit and just enjoy.
Well, this is a blog community that one of our newspapers provide. So, looking around, and to make my blog known , I visited some blogs. Already after three weeks I am tired to death. This is why I withdrew a couple of year ago. The same issues, the same problems. The meaner the better. There are a few nice ones of course. But it seems, still, that people just loves to misunderstand each other. The "under the belt" blogs draws a lot of attention. And the subject "nature" is not even on the list.
I´ve already been through all that stuff. Have no wish to repeat it. Even if I have the experience to help out here and there they will not listen. Or, my voice is drowning in the crowd. It makes me sick to read about everything knowing I can´t do a shit about it. There will be no change, everybody trapped in their own situation.
Can´t be there, can´t be in spiritual community either. Spiritworld saw to that. In between! Belonging nowhere. That´s me.
Went thro the rainy forest yesterday. When the forest is wet it becomes so clear. It is like you can see every detail that you normally don´t. You can see the details as clear as the whole. My mind should be that clear, seeing everything, the whole, be able to see the atoms in the body, see the tiny forming the big things. Everything, being one. Shapes forming and disappering. Constant movement. Knowing everything. That is what my mind should be. Not "in between". Mind open, allknowing.
Well, this is a blog community that one of our newspapers provide. So, looking around, and to make my blog known , I visited some blogs. Already after three weeks I am tired to death. This is why I withdrew a couple of year ago. The same issues, the same problems. The meaner the better. There are a few nice ones of course. But it seems, still, that people just loves to misunderstand each other. The "under the belt" blogs draws a lot of attention. And the subject "nature" is not even on the list.
I´ve already been through all that stuff. Have no wish to repeat it. Even if I have the experience to help out here and there they will not listen. Or, my voice is drowning in the crowd. It makes me sick to read about everything knowing I can´t do a shit about it. There will be no change, everybody trapped in their own situation.
Can´t be there, can´t be in spiritual community either. Spiritworld saw to that. In between! Belonging nowhere. That´s me.
Went thro the rainy forest yesterday. When the forest is wet it becomes so clear. It is like you can see every detail that you normally don´t. You can see the details as clear as the whole. My mind should be that clear, seeing everything, the whole, be able to see the atoms in the body, see the tiny forming the big things. Everything, being one. Shapes forming and disappering. Constant movement. Knowing everything. That is what my mind should be. Not "in between". Mind open, allknowing.
2008-09-04
Shit
I wonder what great lesses is to be learned by feeling like you have to shit all day? Is there a universal wonder to discover?
Really, I am tired of this. I never knew why I have to drag this body around in the first place. Heavy and tiresome. Unbending, with a lot of functions I could be without. I know, the body is a wonder in many respects, but when it comes to the handling of waste and the mind, it really sucks. A body that does not agree with what I want. Brains that goes it´s own way no matter what I want. Even inventing things that isn´t "real" what ever that is! What´s the point? In One living system there should be agreement in how to live and what to want. Spirit and body should not disagree. And the universe should not interfere either. Making the pictue even more complicated.
Is there no shitten rules to this?
Talk about shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really, I am tired of this. I never knew why I have to drag this body around in the first place. Heavy and tiresome. Unbending, with a lot of functions I could be without. I know, the body is a wonder in many respects, but when it comes to the handling of waste and the mind, it really sucks. A body that does not agree with what I want. Brains that goes it´s own way no matter what I want. Even inventing things that isn´t "real" what ever that is! What´s the point? In One living system there should be agreement in how to live and what to want. Spirit and body should not disagree. And the universe should not interfere either. Making the pictue even more complicated.
Is there no shitten rules to this?
Talk about shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2008-09-01
Garden cross spider
Watched a TV-program about gravity this evening. The gravity net in the universe, keeping it all together. Then this little friend weaved a net on my balcony. Nice. Havn´t seen such a nice net for years. Coincidence? Does not matter really, I knew that already. It just got visible.
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