Here we go again.

Started again this morning. Had to take some pills again. It is soon time to get a new prescription if this continous the pesent pattern.

It is like having a bad boyfriend. Somebody that don´t love you but has to show its power over you. Stalking you! Never leave you. Promises good things but the only thing you get is pain and suffering.

I hate it.

Sometimes I wonder if it is my brain malfunctioning. But I don´t think so because this never happens around people. Only when I am alone. And when I visited a doc he did not think I was mad.
When will it end, when will I go into oblivion? Whish my dad could pass so I am free to do the same. Forest, lakes, butterflies and wild strawberries or family does not help anymore. Deathwish is strong. Probably the only way to cheat it, to escape.