...what is “me”?

Grim and I had a “misunderstanding” last night. And this sutra did partly annoy me. Half of the sutra talks of philosophers so it is difficult to see what is actually relevant to the path. It is like trying to find the needle in the haystack. Too much noice around what is important.

Then grim starts to talk about body and its perceptions. That it is “not as it seems”. God, I hate that expression. That is where Eddie got pissed at me too. Why can´t they see that I´m not trapped in bodysenses? Sure, it is “my” host and that what is “me” hurts by feelings and stuff, but only as they relate to the body. Not as they relate to what is really me. The body relay all emotions to “me”. And I am aware of its struggle. But that does not mean I believe “I” am the body or it´s senses. What is “me” has nothing to do with the body, other than it is “my” host. And therefore an interaction takes place.

How frustrating! I take things for what they are and people always put old dogmas into my face. I want to learn about what is beyond the body, that what I feel is me, not about how body works. The body and its senses will dissolve, “I” will not. Not at this time! “I” will keep the memories of the body. Much later it will it dissolves into the Universal mind and takes the memories with it. But that is just memories, like remembering the snake I saw yesterday.

Grim has read too many books and are trapped in various systems. And keeps talking. I can´t devide “myself” into pieces. I can only grow as a whole. He has not noticed that I´m not beleiving that I am the body. As I see it, he has to let go of the wrong idéas. At least understand that I don´t work that way. I don´t understand the body and its senses to be “me”. Makes me question wether he truly knows he is not the body? Why does he have the wrong idéa about me? I need to know where I am heading, not where I have already been.