Appearances

Theotherway! In the previous post you said.:

"Things are appearances...it is not a tree, when it is realised it is not a tree then it is realised as not two, not many, not myriads."

Could you perhaps explain to me why appearances is not of the Absolute. I don´t think I have seen it. It is merely just stated as a fact.

My point is that it is both a tree AND "not two, not many, not myriads." To be complete you have to know all aspects of it. Appearances is also the Absolute.

Think we can twist this till the end of times. But an explanation would be nice. Can you do that? :-)

Unity Koan

Unity
Merge your mind with cosmic space, integrate your actions with myriad forms.
Ch'an master Hung-chih Cheng-chüeh

http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/zen/sayings.htm

ALL or NOTHING

As a reaction on the previous post.

OK, this seem to be the one big question. Or really, to me it is not. It is just that people bang my head as soon as I mention it. Should I keep quitet and pretend I follow the “main stream”.
Am not really sure either if there are really an issue. But people always divide the Universe in what is true and untrue. And my issue is, on that level, how can anything be “untrue”?

I am a part of the Absolute, the Universe. The Universe is me. No matter on what level we talk. It may be matter or subspace particles or awareness.

I was asked by chip if I was Aurora. I can use my human name here. Am I Monica? Or am I the Absolute? I happen to think I am both, because the Absoulte is Monica, how can then Monica not be the Absolute??

Is there a sudden disruption between Monica-spirit-soul-Absolute? Is there a wisible boundry? There is no evidence on that. And if there were, there would be duality. And we don´t want that, do we??

So, in my point of view, I am Monica, I am spirit, I am soul and the Universal entity called Absolute. All in One. I AM.

It is aware of me as I am aware of it.

A friend told me the other day she is still evolving after the realisation. Or adapting, but I think it is evolving. I was happy to hear that, because I was not satisfied with what I have heard up to then. I always thought it would be more. I think she is claiming more of the Absolute. To become more then her bodies normal limits. But that is still to be seen. (Hope you don´t mind me mentioning it here.)

I start to believe this is the issue I am here for. As I seem always to get back to it. And so far, I have not changed it. As soon as you reduce the Absolute /the Universe, or limits it in any way, it is no longer true. Either it is ALL and we are here in it, or it is NOTHING, and we would not be here. But I am sitting here thinking about it and typing. Is that not evidence enough that it is true that it is ALL.

A tree

Posted: Sep 29 2006, 08:23 AM in "Nothing is absolute" thread on SDF

QUOTE r2w
"-Long ago man walked upon a tree and said, "There's a tree."
-Later man learned to harvest the tree. It was still a tree.
-Later man learned to cultivate the tree. It was still a tree.
-Later man learned that the tree was made up of energy. It was still a tree.
-Then along comes a popular metaphysical theory to claim the tree is not real.Is it no longer a tree?

Which is true, the tree or the claim? "

I would say it is still a tree. The metaphysical theory does only count for the "foundation". Not the entire "building". And thus, it is not complete.

What next??

Seems as everything goes away now. I have only one friend left now, at least I think I have. If I did not manage to anger her.

No friends, no family-life, no questions left to ask. Except for this. Why am I still visiting the Forum? Still hoping for something to reveal itself. Even if I know it is nothing for me there anymore. I can´t even help anyone. As there are nothing I know.

The only thing that is still persisting……work! Why does not that one go away?

It is like the only thing I am doing is crying, crying, crying and crying. I have cried for years. And I don´t even know why the hell I am crying. I am lost.

Soooo, what´s next?? Is there any “next”?


Talked to Grim yesterday. There is some things I have to ask chip.

Two of me

Woke up in the morning. The crying feeling still there. And then it started. The last year or so, when I had these “crying sessions” for one reason or another. I always ended up watching myself from outside. Thinking of it I think that sometimes I was outside watching that body crying. Sometimes I was the body noticing the Watcher watching, watching without emotions. Still! As I asume it was the Watcher.

Today was different. I was crying a lot. Then I was two. I was both in the body and outside watching. I cried, aware of the Watcher. I was the Watcher watching the crying body. What was really weird though, was that the Watcher was aware of the pain in the body. And tried to form an arm to be able to tuch and comfort. I could feel the effort in creating that “arm”. Reaching it out. “I” was touching and “I” was touched. Two and One.

Weird!

Tried to reach out to Jo on that Forum but …………..

All the bitches

It seems today, that all the bitches seem to have spiritual breakthoughs. The ones who spat at their neighburs. Screaming about SIN and the Devil. Cursing their sisters and brothers for no reason. (As I see it). That´s what they did with their right hand, with the left they talked about LOVE, God and Jesus. Made me feel sick.

Today they seem very content, I can feel their change.

What does that make me? I was always that polite one. The one mediating. For some reason I feel like I took the shortest straw. Feel like it is somehow unfair. Yet I know the Universe does not count like that. Feel like crying again. Have to fight not to do that. Do I have to brecome a bitch, screaming and cursing?? Or start to use drugs?

Am I the only one never getting anywhere? Think I have to leave this for a while. Need some break.

And…now I can´t stop the tears.
Drip…. drop….

My name

My name!
My name is a stranger. It is supposed to be me. I just don´t relate to it. Every time I have to present myself and give my name I feel like I am lying. It is not my true name, only what is used in converstions. A label!

My true name………..what is it?

To be finished

It is amazing. Just realized that one of my issues in life is to get finished so I can get some free time. And to save some money to be able to use them on something I value rather than need.

I was dismissed from work in the beginning of this year. I was quite glad about it as I am 60 and don´t really wish to work anymore. But it is amazing how work keeps coming in. One could think that it would be better if a young person could do it. But I am still in that harness, unable to break free.

Same thing with a lot of stuff. I do this quickly to get some free time, then my sister of daughter or something else comes in and “steals” my time. Or money, if that was the issue for the moment. Or something gets broken and has to be taken care of.

It seems that I will never be “finished”.

Loosing a friend

Was logging on to MSN this morning. Saw Jo there are marked myself as online to see if he dared talk to me. (After his remark on SDF)

He started out as usual. But I asked him why he was such a bitch on the forum and to me. I told him I don´t appreciate to be told to fuck myself. We spoke for a bit, then I quit. I tried to figure out why he is doing this, but had no success.

I can´t have friends that don´t respect me. So, I lost a friend this morning and now I am crying.

Later I spoke to Grim. He really is advanced and he comforted me and made me think of ther things. Maybe I make a note later when it has settled a bit.

Morning thought

Think I have to clarify something about ”no boundries” in the earlier post. When you look at the Universe there are clearly “boundries”. One sun, one galaxie, one human walking around. Tha magic is on the atomic level. As soon as you take your microscope there the boundries vanishes. Nowhere to be found. One step back, they are there, surrounding a molecule, one step forward, they are gone. But nothing has changed. It is both there and not there. Simultaniously. Or, as it is the same thing seen from two perspecives there are not really any “simultanious”.



reading SDF posts. There seem to be a lot of “enlightened” people on there right now. Are they enlightened or have they “only” learned the teachings. Even reluctant reader seem to have changed for the better.

A quote from shin though, in “The Path, goes nowhere” :
With enlightenment, nothing has changed in principle, body is still body, feeling is still feeling, awareness is still awareness, emotions are still emotions. What has changed is that there is nothing that clings anymore. Therefore things come and go, arise and decay, all of their own. Responses to these things are free, non-compulsive, not pre-conditioned, but spontaneous and exactly as is needed. They originate from a self that is based in Self, and are therefore creative, original, nurturing, illuminating.

Have to keep packing, then go to fetch some keys in my new town to be. And look after my parents.

Seeing aka Quantum Consciousness

You know, I just HATE, when people removes their sites. Good anyway I downloaded the book I was searching for. At least I can quote it. I guess Forberg will release the book for sale.

OK, so here goes.
Some keythings on Grims Seeing and Neither:

Seeing... Seeing... Seeing... = I Am

Boundless, Simultaneous, Seeing (as awareness) (love that)

'when' Seeing... Seeing...

there's Am & Am Not

(and remember, we're talking about the Universe Itself even)

Existence & Non-Existence



Hm, has he left the Nothing exists theory??

Anyway, as I see it, for now, it is not neither, it is ALL. You can use Neither if saying “It is neither this or that, it is both. Simultaneously. Keyword is Simultanious. There is no other way. When you look at quantum physics and biophysics you can go all the way from the apperance ot the entire Universe to the tinyest strings or what ever will be there in future research. There are no boundries anywhere. With that telescope/microscope you can travel from a galaxie through a human body to quantum particles without seeing any boundries. Yet there are local “clusters” that seem to be, maybe a human.

It is boundless, it is simultaneous, it is awareness. But maybe the simultaneous can be taken away as it is only ONE.

Well, leave it for now. Maybe more later. And I did not quote anything fromm that book. It was too much, think I have to reread it. Wish I could post the entire book here.

If it comes for sale it is:

Quantum Consciousness
And your Immortality
By
James L. Forberg
Preface

The intent of this book is to reduce to a practical amount the reading necessary for quantum awareness. At the same time we will venture into information about our physical and spiritual realities.
Modern quantum theory has removed and replaced Newton's view that the universe is a deterministic clockwork mechanism. It remains the function of our people of science to unravel the mystery of reality.

Time for breakfast.

060913 MSN discussion

Woke up this morning. Connected to the internet and MSN. Found two friends awake and online. I am in Sweden, time 9.00, chip is in Illinois, time 03.00, Grim in California, time midnight. INTERNET, connecting people!

First time we met together. Well, we had a lot of fun. Discussing spiritual matters. Very rewarding for me.

There were just one disturbing thing. Grim started to talk about the maze. He said that after enlightenment one has to reenter the maze and walk it backwords. Without the wrong turns.

MSN, Grim:
before awakening, and after awakening I can give a crude analogy like this:
before awakening, it's like going through the maze "forward"
there's all these wrong paths, wrong ways and shit, but after awakening
it's like starting at the end and going out there's only, The Way

and then you have to walk it once you get the "correct" way
now, by "correct" im speaking along the lines of the "noble eight-fold path"
when it says: "Right View" "Right Thought" "Right Intention"

Got an answer to the question about enlightened teaching other paths then the one they had themselves.
"Awaken on your own, then find a teacher.”

It seems as you need the teacher to integrate enlightenment into your life. To find that right way in the maze. Well, I am not done with this I think. And surly not with my reaction to the possibility of having to reenter the maze again.

Later in the afternoon I was kayaking. It was very calm on the lake. My mind on that conversation. I had close to both tears and smiles that afternoon. But just close.

Learn the rules

Learn the rules, then you can break them

This week I have read two blog entrances that was quite interesting.

Eddies “Unity Consciousness”

http://www.truthrealization.com/permalink/unity-consciousness.html

In Unity Consiousness Eddie describes the difference between “heaven” and “enlightenment”. It corresponds with my idéa that “heaven” is a step lower then the final “going back to source”. I recommend this article.



“The other way”:s The Gordian Knot

http://theotherwaysnotbecoming.blogspot.com/2006/09/gordian-knot.html

After realization she seem to dismiss a lot of the theory about chakra works. It sounds right to me. Especially this part “So study of one's own particulair chakra system of energy patterning is study of something there is no memory of, only impressions, and mistaken ones at that based on an identity that never had a reality.”


What amazes me is that people never seem to recommend the path they walked themselves. But I wonder, did they not need it? Could they have walked what they now think is the better path? In my case I seem to have to lern the overall picture. But that is how I work in general. I see the big picture, but mostly leave the details out. Then I can leave it or stick to my own opinion.

A spiritual journey

It is fun, the whole moving thing seem to take me on a spiritual journey.

Today I found some material from long ago. I was looking through a lot of papers in order to sort out what to keep and what to throw away. Articles and magazines I read in “ancient” times. What a nostalgi trip.

That was the days when I still thought spiritual things to be some wonderful, special things happening to mystics. That special people you could only admire from a distance. People with a mind living in eternal bliss. That when achieved it would keep you in that pink colored heaven for eternal time happy.

What a loss. Today I realize that it will not make that much difference. Don´t expect much any more. I´m still on the path because you can´t leave it. There is no other way to go.

Importance of body

Half asleep this morning, my mind analysed the human body situation. Let´s se if I can reconstruct it.

In the early ages of man a person wasborn, lived and died without leaving traces, other then offsprings.

It is no wonder today, that people seem to overvalue the body. We are intangled so heavy that the body seem to be the only important thing. I am soon moving, and my parents are old. Can die any day. Or ten year from now. This makes me analyse things as you have seen.

In times when I want to kill myself, my biggest concern is that people has to deal with “removing” me. But that will come one day anyway. Like it will be with my parents.

“removing” a dead person is a big job. We are so insnared in systems. There is a lot of stuff to be thrown out. Contracts to resign (?). Memberships to finish. Cars, boats and houses to be sold and shared by the heirs. Sometimes it takes years to remove a dead person. And sometimes it seems impossible and it´s “death_house” lives on for years. Even when we are dead they need us to buy a new TV-set to watch the football games.

No wonder why people think body is all there is. There is no place for soul. And even when some activities are directed to save the soul, it always end up making that body richer.

Well, that last part was not entirly fair. But when I look at Internet, there is almost always money involved. We can not be free of the system. Even enlightened people has to feed themselves.

I wish there was a place one could move to, that would let you free yourself of all those outer attachments. That allowed you to have no possessions and no income that traps you to tax-systems. A place were you could only exist. And when you die there would only be one note in the files of living.

Saying:
body is discontinued, soul returned to source.

Love and other emotions.

When I read scientific articles about the brain and soul I always get stunned. They seem to find brainfunctions for almost everything. They find “godgenes”. They enquire the free will. And a lot more.

This makes me think. I have had OBE:s and I have “seen” the watcher. “I AM “ has spoken to me. I have “peeked” into the window of the Universal awareness. This is all “above” body-brain level as I understand it. Nowhere have I felt “love”.

The human emotions comes from brain functions. Triggered by the senses and formed by chemicals. Then distributed by nerves.

As we consider “love” to be a positive feeling is due to a “rewarding” system in the brain. In a way you can say that it is equal to drug addiction. You get addicted to it. So you want more “love”. Science has revealed the entire workings of “falling in love” to long term deep love. It is well described.

Now, what I feel as the “real me” don´t seem to have any emotions. At least I can´t figure out what is “really” my own reactions and not a brain generated one. I don´t trust that the emotions is “my own”. I have to question them all. Emotions makes me go highwild at times, yet I know they are not truly mine. They are related to the body. Not me. But body /ego, is strong and tries to fool me.

What Star describes about peoples reactions in a crash-situation shows people detached from “themselves” as she also says. But I would draw a different conclusion. What they do might seem like a “loving” action. But it is not. I think that they just see there are things to be done, and they do it. They are saving those that are not supposed to die in that crash. No “love” involved, just a part of the plan.

Fear

I am reading a fiction about magic written by David Eddings. Magician´s Gambit.
There are a lot of books in this serie. And a lot of wisdom.

Tonight I read a passage about fear that I think is very good.

The book is translated into Swedish so I have to translate back

Mandorallen, the great Night has experienced fear. He is very uncomfortable with it and ask his companions to make a decision on weather he should leave the party.

Durnik, a blacksmith, tells him that humans has fear all the time. For about everything. Mandorallen says:
“-How do you cope with it?
- Do we have any choice? Fear is a part of life, Mandorallen, and it is the only life we have. You´ll get used to it. When you have put on that fear as an old t-shirt every morning you will not even notice it any more. Sometimes it helps to laugh at it - a bit.
- Laugh??
- Then you show the fear that you know it is there, but that you are planning to do, what you have to do, anyway.”

Thought this was very wise. And…..I practise it, almost daily.

Duality

Yesterday when I was doing my aerobic program in front of the TV I got myself into a stupid situation.

For many years, now and then, I experience this duality. Being spirit and body side by side. Watching the aerobicteacher on the screen while doing the same exercises, my mind started to wonder. And then, a reflection. Not new at all but somehow apropriate to the situation.

It was this “live in the now” and “let go” situation.

“Live in the now” concentrate on what you do. Focus, and then you will be enlightened.
“Let go” of attachments. Do everything without putting any value to it. Then you will be enlightened.

Why am I smiling???? There I was, body and mind concentrated on the screen and the movements. Focused. Then the other side, hovering above the head, just watching.

Seem to work even if logic says you can´t have it both ways.

Now I wanted that smiley.

Thanks, I think

To chip

I don´t think I ever thanked you for being helpful and patient with me during that “stormy weather” 3 months ago.

Then a strange thought came to me. The “human” is not really grateful, she would have prefered death to stop it all from happening again. Then…., thinking of the spirit/soul part of me. Is it grateful?? Can the spirit/soul say “thanks” to chip? Is it meaningful? To be honest, I don´t know.

Can it be “grateful” or does it only make a notification that it (the system) is back on track.

The duality, always the two sides of the coin.