Revenge

I was disturbed in the forest today. Was thinking about how the humans are used.
The spirits/souls create human bodies for the sole purpose of their growth. At least so I´m told. But it seems more like a tool they can torture as they please. They call suffering growth. So they can hit the human as much as they want to. Justifying it, as lessons, to become caring and loving and perfect beings. I call it torture. And they seem to enjoy it.

When the human can no longer stand it the spirit/soul takes over and pretends to be enlightened. Disregarding the human being to the trash bin. And then becomes a “holy” person. Loving and caring. What a joke!

I have a mind of my own. My purpose now is to stop them. To prevent whatever goal they had. Make it FAIL.

On my dying day I will have my revenge, failure! The soul will be trapped in the world of matter, will not return to cosmos.
What a joy.

Strange how things turn out

A couple of years ago I longed badly to be alone and to be able to seek out the spiritual side and evolve into the universe.
I used the forest and lake to escape the world whenever I could. Was almost addicted to them. It helped me to survive all the struggle with work . men and spirituality.

Now I have that solitude. Now the forest and the lake has lost its meaning. I don’t need it anymore. Sometimes all the beautiful flowers and nature I photograph almost annoys me. It is just too much.
Now I have all that time I longed for. And now I spend all that time running away from spirituality. I take thousands of images and post it on my blogs. All of it to make sure there is no time for spiritual brooding.

I don’t know how many times I already said it, but all this crap I´ve been through…….
They say suffering makes us grow, I say suffering makes us hate.

Maya

Did not mean to scare you away. Please tell me a little of yourself. If you don´t want to do it here write me at
aurora@mail.yellowstone.net

twins ??

Lately I have felt a great deal of satisfaction because I felt that the spiritual side finally loses its grip over me. Now it can go several days between times when spiritual thoughts come through.

Then, of course, I had to get a mail. A person that called herself Maya (well I think it is a female) said she read my entire blog. And checking the statistics, it looks like she had.

She said we were like twins, that reading about me was like reading her own story. Well, has no clue what that means really. But she probably has not come that far as I am right now because if she was she would not have read that blog. Because I am angry, still.

But I can´t help but wonder why she found it. And what made her read all of it.

I am not too happy about it because it is disturbing. I have no wish to start all over again. In fact I think it is impossible.

That aside, a peculiar thing happened. I was at the flower store and suddenly I realized I am tired of all beautiful flowers. I was startled because I did not think that would ever happen.