The dream makes me mad

That dream, in the last entry, just makes me angry. There “he” comes, dressed like everybody else, but still without a face. Making me believe he is somebody else until he said that about the head. He should know it, he is the cause of it, the shrinking. He denied me everything and gave me nothing but sorrow, suffering and hate.

They don´t even trust what they themselvs created. I still don´t understand it. It is said we are created to conquer a certain task to improve ourselfs. But they don´t trust us to do it. They have to interfere every now and then to make certain it goes as planned. Others may think the guiding is something to be proud of. But it pisses me off. If notning else, it is so lousy performed. Giving riddles nobody understand. Some people spend years to try to figure out stupidities. And still can´t be sure of the meaning. And why the h-l all that hitting me? For what reason? Did he think it would make me a better person? A saint maybe? No, being hit for no reason only creates hatered. Every parent know that.

Next time I have a similar dream and recognize it, I will take controll, and then hit his faceless face….hard! I have taken control over dreams before, I can do it again. Next time I WILL hit him! He shall not fool me again. And….I hope to shrink to zero so he can´t find me again.

cows and head

I was dreaming a long dream this morning.

I think I have dreamt a similar dream sometime long ago. It was all so familiar.

I was at my old working place. A 10 story building. With only offices in it. I was told I had to take care of some cows that was beeing forced to the upper floor of the building. It was ten of them. But I never saw them. They had to go there for some reason.

I started to tell the boss what I needed for the cows. Like food, waterbuckets, things for tidying them. A wheel barrow among other things. Where to put the droppings. Lot of things. I can´t write it all down. I walked around to make plans, even outside in the forest.

After that I was following a man to look for a piece I designed for the trucks I worked with earlier. And it was manufactured now. It did look good.

When everything was set I and the man was on our way down to the entrence of the building. He put his arm around my shoulder and made me lean towards him. Then he looked at me and said: “it is good to see you again, but I think your head has shrinked”. And I could feel it too, as there was much room for my head on the shoulder. And that was quite OK.

After that most planing was done. And the dream ended.

another thing gone

Yesterday I took away the painting I recived as a gift from chip. A very dear present at the time. Now I can no longer watch it. As everything else the sight of it hurts. Now there are only one more thing to remove. The old mailbox, or two of them. They were opened during the time when I still had spiritual hope. And the names chosen from that spirit as well as used in its name.

I am now loking for more suitable mailboxes without bad memories. When the mailboxes are replaced there are only thos blog left. It will remain as a warning to people not to trust the good of spirituality. There is nothing good about it.