A book to read

Just wanted to mention that I will probably not post that much for a while. I have a book to read. Got it in the mail yesterday. And it seems good. A 1100 pages book. Will take a while.

Lousy

Feel pretty lousy right now. For several reasons.

First, Jed Mckenna seem to be questioned. Somebody on the net seem to think he isn´t real. That is he is not a person that has written the books. They speculate if it is several people that is not even enlightened that has written the bookd.

Now, discussed this with chip. She thinks is makes no difference, if it is a good book is is a good book. Maybe, but somehow I think it is important. If the author is fake and a lie, isn´t the book that also? I mean, a lot of people writes under pseudo names, that is OK. But if it is several people that are not enlighted when it is claimed to be, then everything is fake and a lie. Then they don´t talk from experience. I can´t rely on that then. Seems like I am not going to finish that book.

Then, Grim is trying to push me, a bit regarding what was said on Eddies site. But it makes no difference. He can try to push as best he can, he can use a million words. It does not help. I can´t name what has no name.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Had hoped to be finish by now. Guess I never will.

Eddies Being alive and purpose

http://www.truthrealization.com/truthblog/index.php?url=archives/Being-Alive-and-Purpose.html&serendipity[csuccess]=moderate

Purpose

Sunset at Duveholm

Jed seem to comfirm that there is actually an interest from the Universe to push us through to realization. Several times he has mentioned that people are led to him to be pushed into the “first step” or for any other spiritual reason.

He said: she “thought” she was here for the interview. Or As he is here with me it is for a reason. He says it a lot in the books. So, the Universe takes an interest in how we proceed.

That is what I always thought. I am not here because I want it or because I think it is a good idéa. I am here as the Universe wants me to.

New home, Duveholm lake

This is my new location. Pics on littleclouds request. Pictures are taken this week. It is late fall. The distance to the shed is only 5 min walk from the house I live in. When the sun is set I can go home and see it once more from my kitchenwindow on the third floor. Lots of sunsets. :-)

Questions, bla bla bla

Yesterday morning. Soooooooooooooo, what was I supposed to write?

The earth, 24h cycle. In how many ways can one thing be explained?? Was thinking: if realized people live in the daylight part of the world and human beings in the night part of the world. Both parties will claim the other don´t exist because they are not aware of the other side. (Pretend the earth is not revolving) They have to visit the other side to know about it. They have to make the journey.

I am getting tired of Jeds second book. He is very engaged in the mystery of Moby Dick. He finds it to be a book that reveals the Truth. That is, if you can unlock it.

Why is it that “enlightened people” do like to read such stuff a lot? Do they have to explain “nothingness”? Do they need to explain themselves? But I never see the transition explained. Some time ago I wrote about the atoms. They seem to be the limit to what a human eye can percieve. Go further and there is nothing to see. Step back, and the world is there. Then take a microscope and you can see the “unseen”. Take other equipment and you can see the universe in a number of different ways.

The physics, and the quantum in particular seem to have found the first evidences of how matter formes. And they have descovered what they call “the field of possibilities”. In the furure they will probably be able to explain how this is formed. I think this appoach is a better one for me. I have no problem with this.

But it does bother me that spiritual enlightenment don´t explain how I (used in a normal way) can be here. Even if their awareness is on another level they should have to acnowledge every other level as true. There is no other way to do it. The table they talk about in the book ei everything between “solid” and “awareness”. This body and soul I call me is everything between matter and strings. You dan´t leave any part of it out, if you do it can´t exist at all. There is no Universe then.

Chip. This is for you. Jed seem to flip between the seen and the unseen. Like the atom veil we´ve discussed before. But, do you “flip” in the same way? How can you both sit at the table and not being aware of it? Recognice it? Must be a very hard thing to live with. He says: there is no question of a table! Like that should be an explanation. In that case, what is the trigger of the question?

I belive that one day, hopefully not to far away, science can unlock that mystery. It does seem that spirituality can´t. And I need that answer. Do I have to rephrase the question?

Back online

Am back online again. No more restricted sessions. But, thanks Library! For providing the service.

Annoyance

This is one of those things.

If I were "enlightened" or truthrealized, I would not be annoyed if I understand this business.

This broadbandconnection of mine is stilll not mine. The whole moving thing went pretty well except for this. The broadband seem to end up in cyberspace and who knows if it turns up at all. And because I am not done, I suffer! Taking the bike to the library every day, limited to 20 mins session.Annoyed because this is just plain stupid probölems. Stupid things playing games with me. And there is nothing I can do about it. Negating?? Never works when you need it. The Watcher, where is it when you need it??

Apart from that I have done some biking around the lake today. This turns out to be even better then I thought. Lots of nice places to stop by. Even a small waterfall. And a school for horse-teraphists. Yeah, that´s what I said. Interesting.

Black entity

Last night I was sleeping in bed something weird happened. I think I had slept for just a little while when I heard a noice in teh hall. Like someone was there. I tried to wake up and open my eyes, but they were so heavy. Then I became aware or somebody being in my room. I struggled to come out of sleep, I felt something touching my vrist. Finally I managed to open my eyes and saw a dark figure reaching for my arm to pull it to itself. When I saw it it immediately dissolved and dissappeared. Think it was trying to drag something out of me. If so, what was it?

My heart was pounding heavily. I am not sure if I really saw that entity. Or if it was a part of a dreamsequence. But it was very real. It looked dark and shaggy. But even if I was on edge I was not really afraid. Some years ago I had another experience. It was something black coming out of my belly. Like a black energyball. Just that, nothing else.

Jeds first book

Have finished the first book. It turned out that it covers the time before you actually get to the Enlightenment works.

He is a very good teacher. He uses conversations with students to show what is expected. And how it leads to the "first step" as they say. That´s when you drop the old concepts and it can be a very rough experience. In this case it was one event. For me it has been several as I understand it.

I nooded to most of the stories, have been there. But it was good to have it shown, that you are not mad.

I would think that this is a book for everyone that started to doubt their beliefs or to those who have none to lean on.

Now I will read the next one and see how much I recognise from what people told me and from what I have experienced.

This morning session in bed was not about enlightenment but about wallpaper. Now I know what I will put on the walls. In teh kitchen I will have wallpaper looking like a stonewall. Then I put a shelf with plants, and the little waterfall I have and make it a nice place to be.

The sleeping room will have a blue sky with some clouds and tiny flying birds.

The hall shall have tiny roses. It will be different in every room. The livingroom is "standard" white.

Jeds bubble

OK! Here we go again. The same issue, a different take.

Jed describes a truth with bubbles in it. The yin-yang symbol as a sign for it all. The yin-yang is the symbol for duality and the circle/glob contains it. And outside is the "truth".

I quote him from SE-DamnestThing.pdf:
"The truth is out there-the void, the abyss, no-self and our fragile little bubbles are what lets us float around in the infinite, able to enjoy the experience of somethings where only nothingness exists. The illusion of opposites- good and bad, love and hate, only in bubbles."

This actually sounds like duality to me. You have "truth" and you have the "illusion".

And he also describes how he happily dives back into the bubble to enjoy life. Did he have a choice in not doing so? He does not say. But this actually looks like the "bubble" and "life" is to prefer before being only "truth". (hm) Well, I have not finished the reading yet.

This is my main issue. How the h-l can you have a truth with exeptions?? An Absolute that is not ALL? The Truth must include the bubbles or it is not Truth. That is my take on it.

061114 Understanding?

Think I am slowly coming to an understanding about what has been confusing.

In bed a feew minutes ago I realized that when I was younger and had this man stalking me I have always thought I was guarding my soul from him. Keeping it safe so he could not harm "my true being". That what was "me". Now I thought that maybe it was not the soul I had protected, maybe it was the "ego"? Then........what´s the difference? It is still creation. Last spring I had a thought that the soul is to the spirit what the ego is to the body. (body/mind-ego>spirit/soul in my book)

I think the problem is that for long I confused "enlightenment-Abslolute" with the last step of spiritual growth. Wich it probably isn´t.

I never was religious, but the system seem to be built into my backbone. If you evolve into a better being it should come with the package of religion somehow. Or at least something equal to that, to build a better world. I did not know about the Absolute then.

Now I see how it goes, at least I think so.

All the systems and religions is built to create deasent human beings in a deasent world. At least it was supposed to. Then there is teh core of it that talks about the Absolute. But people in general don´t know about it. And when we hear about it we have no chance of understanding it.

Now, I see something lacking anyway. When I read about Jed and others I see they desregard everything that has to do with the world and the physical Universe. They disregard the religions and yogasystems. They disregard everything that hsa to do with being a better person. They even disregard us. They seem to think we can just dump that part. Somehow it seems to be right because in my case I have never really tried out all these things. And yet I seem to evolve. It has puzzled ne that I di as I don´t try to be a saint, don´t pray to gids, I am not a vegetarian. All those things you thought to be needed. For the "enlightened" business those things is not needed. Everything is good as it is, with one exeption. The understanding and knowledge that is the core of what we seem to be is the Universe itself. The core from what everything in spiritworlds and worlds of matter emerges.

But I think the religions is still needed to explain the growth within creation. There seem to actually be a place like "heaven" in there somewhere. Among the astralplanes. Don´t think it should be ignored. Still think it has it´s value, it´s a step on the road. I think that as you advances on that road you automatically drop fenomenon world as the only truth. Science can do the same for other people. It is needed to reach the final step. It is not a waste. But Jed somehow jumps that part, at least so far I´ve read. But that seem to be a common thing. I still wonder why.

Where is the navel-tube between mother and child??

Arjuna and Shiva

061107
"Vacation" seem to be over now. One week without spitirual stuff.

Early morning lying in bed looking at the dark sky through the window. (third floor. no neighburs:-))

The question to be solved is there is but ONE Universe.

The questions are: why is Arjuna formed to be taught? And why is Shiva formed to teach? As they are the same it should not be needed!

Basically they are the same. Why is this game needed? Why is is nessessary for the Universe to teach and learn? I can´t "awaken" before I have solved that. What Shiva taches don´t seem to be complete. It is not the "truth". It does not explain the teachings and learnings.
(not as I have seen anyway, might have to change)

to be continued.
20 mins session at the library

I doubt that I will find the answer in the teachings. Do I have to spend years studying scriptures just to see the truth is not there? What a waste of time! Even if time is not there.

We know there is no permanent "I". It formes, lives and dissappeares. AS ALL LIFE DO. We know the bodies and minds and egoes comes and goes. Shapes from and falls back down into the Ocean of teh Universe. But what is the reason for it?

Why the need for suffering ans bliss? Why has Arjuna to learn he is NO`? Is there anything that tells WHY he has to "learn"? And know he is NOT? It seems that teh fundamental question is not asked.

Why have the learning and teaching experience have to take place?

If the Universe is as uninterrestedas of "Us" as they say, then teaching and learning and understanding would not be needed. We should be only a bunch of microbes with rudimentary awareness. But as it seems, we are more than that.

done

(Think I have to reconsider the ego a bit later on)

Still offline

Hi all.
Just want to say I am still offline. Still unpacking and fixing my appartment.

Started to read Jed McKennas books in order to get something else to do then unpack.

Today it is raining but I had some nice afternoons discovering the surroundings beside the Duveholm-lake. Also made a check on my kayak.

There are some birds in my area. Hen-family, but wild. Have not seen them in 20 yrs at my old place. A nice thing.