Important decision, cameradream

I had a very profound dream this morning. Lately I have dreamt a lot about a dream concerning computers and saving work. That dream comes now and then in slightly different versions. And they are quite annoying as I don´t understand them. So last night I told myself I will not dream any dreams I don´t understand. It´s no point in that, just wast of time.

So, this is what I dreamt this morning:
I was in India, on a marketplace in a tent. I was visiting someone. Then I did see an old camera. Much like my old one. It seemed to be very long (broad) according to the container it was in. When I reach for it the owner came. He allowed me to turn it carefully, but I was not allowed to open the protective leather container. So I could not see it was a mordern version or a bellow one. In an opening beside the camera I found old stuff like batteries, flashlamps and other things. I found the tent a bit odd. The shelves that things stood on was not visible. When I asked for the price the owner was gone. I could not get the price or the figure to calculate kr to Indian money. I was holding the camera so nobody should take it and waited, trying to figure out the cost. I looked around to see if my bag with the creditcard was OK and saw that pixiwings was watching it. After a while, when the owner still had not come back, I put the camera back on that invisible shelf. Thought that if it was so hard to try to purchase, it was not worth the trouble. So, I prepared to leave. And I have to make a decision. Shall I wait or shall I go. I know that if I go I might not find the place again or if I find it the camera might be gone. The only chance to purchase the camera is to stay put.
-And that was it.

Well, this I understand, it describes the present situation. I am in a foreign country and don´t know the surroundings. I am in a marketplace. The camera is likely to be “enlightenment” as I have wished for. And tried to achieve. BUT, as in the dream, I don´t know how to do it and are not given any instructions on how to do it as the “owner” dissappeared. I can´t buy the camera as the owner are not there, I don´t know the price or the exchangevalue to my money. I don´t know how much I have on my creditcard.
The dream stoped before I left the tent.

The fact that I have never found any “spiritual path that suits me” is the denial of instruction. As I am pretty tired of waiting I am getting to a point where I can leave without looking back. Or regretting doing that. If I decide to stay I might have to wait so long I might starve to death before the “owner” comes back. And I still take the risk of not having the means or purchasing the goods.

OK, this is a huge metaphore. If you get the general idéa of what I am saying and has any comments on that. Feel free to tell me.

The main question is if I shall take the chance to stay and wait, or if I shall leave this whole search. Is it worth the waiting????? So far I have not seen anything that makes it worth the effort.

http://spiritual-forum.net/iboard/index.php?act=ST&f=1&t=814&hl=camera&s=5933c34604bdfaa57aecc44c392b028b

There are a lot on that thread. Among it a summary in response to chip.
and:
050221
It´s like something I actually got confirmed in the text of Osho´s. It´s like somebody cuts bits and pieces out of me and I don´t understand anything. Right now I have had some rough months and I am tired. Spirituality is not my choice really. I admit it was quite exciting when I was around 20-40. But the past 5 years has been nasty.

Sometimes I think I am mad, but from bits and pieces of what you guys have shared, I know I am not mad.Nothing wrong with the mind and brain.